New Year's Reflections in Virginia

Good evening y'all. I write you this post from my old home town of Fairfax,Virginia and my goodness, how the memories are flooding into my mind. And as they do I hear my favorite radio station (Classical 103.5) playing one of my favorite pieces by Beethoven, his 7th symphony. I can't believe it! You know, it is the little stuff that touches my heart so dearly. It's so moving to hear the flutes play daintily with the brass trumpets and violins. It's most haunting!! Don't call me crazy but I think God speaks to me through music. Music reaches something in my soul like nothing else does except maybe one thing which I will go unnamed. Oh, how I hear Him tonight. My heart is melting with emotion and I wish I had someone here to share this with. But since I have no one, I thought I'd invite the cyber world to enjoy it with me. So thanks to those of you who are here reading my insignificant thoughts. I know this means nothing to you but it means so much to me knowing that I am semi-sharing what is happening inside of me with you. You may be asking yourself "Is this life so lonely for some that they must resort to an electrical journal for comfort?" Yes, but that's okay. I'd rather that than go crazy by having this feeling built up in me and cause me such frustration that I have to scream. I like to scream- not too loud, just high pitched. It's so much fun. Try it especially if you like to sing. It's a great way to open up your vocal cords. I'm serious by the way. I do this before I sing for anything. It's a professional singer's secret. Moving on though, I have had a most unusual day. For one thing, I spent my afternoon having lunch with my old boyfriend from high school and afterwards traveling down roads I have not navigated in almost six years. My favorite road, Route 66 (well, not really but it's an easy road to drive on and I know it like the back of my hand) was one I found myself on today. I love driving on it as the sun sets behind the majestic mountains called the Blue Ridge. They are so regal, so blue(my favorite color). They are what I call Our Lady's mountains. Once did I drive through them. It was a drive I'll never forget. I love to drive alone around here. When I was in high school I would drive down roads and just drive without stopping not knowing where I was or to where I was going. Those were moments of great contemplation. Now I drive to nowhere and to nowhere fast being that I live in the worst part of NJ, yet this, I'm hoping, is to soon to change. I miss and love the country. It has everything a melancholic girl like myself could want. There is so much to think about, so much to see, so much move the heart and inspire one to dream. I pray God puts me somewhere out in the hills or mountains. They make it so easy to pray.
Before I wrap up this rather informal post I do wish to say a few last things. Yes, I miss VA, I miss the mountains,I miss people I no longer see, however I cannot allow myself to get too attached to any person, place or thing which I meet with upon my brief stay on this planet- none of us can. This world is passing and is one which we must be in yet not of. Nothing should divert our hearts or minds away from getting to that one place we should so long to go to, Heaven. I spoke to a priest in confession today about my life and he gave me some excellent advice. He said if you want to get to Heaven quickly, do well whatever it is God wants of you, and suffer it with love and in a short while He will take you home. He warned me that it is to those people who begrudgingly do whatever it is He asks of them who stay longer. So tonight as I conclude a truly memorable 2005, I have decided upon my new year's resolution... it is to do everything God wishes I do and suffer anything that hurts my heart or breaks my will so that He will soon take me to Himself and allow me to love Him forever in eternity. I pray this happens to me and I pray it happen soon. No I'm not in despair, I simply long for eternity. So Lord, make me ready and make me ready as quickly as possible for I want so much to be with you and to be in a place where I will never have to say goodbye again. (Wouldn't that be nice?)
A blessed new year to y'all. Please say a prayer for me that I get home safe. God keep you safe and close to His Heart Sacred Heart. Buone Anne!

Hope on the Homefront

The above mentioned blog had this interesting news to tell.

"Friday, December 30, 2005
Benedict prepares the Holy Revolution
The Italian newsweekly Panorama has a very interesting prognosis of the major events of 2006 in the Roman Curia in its last edition (with the same title as the one chosen for this post).

The main points of the article:

FIRST, after eight months, Pope Benedict has filled only two positions with his men: CDF Prefect, vacated for obvious reasons; and the Secretary for Divine Worship, who was picked because he was needed to "continue the dialogue with the traditionalist Catholics" (Panorama's words).

SECOND, and this has been well known for a few months, the Holy Father has chosen Angelo Comastri (currently Vicar of the Pope for the Vatican City) as his head-planner for a major restructuring of the Curia.

THIRD, Comastri would replace Cardinal Castrillón Hoyos as Prefect of Clergy.

FOURTH, freed from his duties at Clergy, Cardinal Castrillón Hoyos (who is past his age limit) would remain solely in charge of Ecclesia Dei issues (that is, relations with all traditional Catholics).

FIFTH, Abp. Piero Marini would be called to replace Abp. Comastri in his current positions, freeing the office of pontifical liturgies.

SIXTH, Marini would be replaced by his second, Francesco Camaldo, who is allegedly a favorite of the Pope.

SEVENTH, Cardinal Sepe would be trasferred from Propaganda (Evangelization) to Cardinal Szoka's current position as President of the Governatorate of the Holy See.

EIGHTH, Cardinal Dias (Bombay, India) would replace Cardinal Sepe as prefect of Propaganda.

In other changes, the Prefect of Apostolic Signatura would be transferred to Naples (as archbishop).

The article ends by reminding the readers that NOBODY is currently in a position that may influence the Pope's decision. Every one of the decisions will be solely his (differently, I might add, from what happened throughout the Wojtyla pontificate, as is public knowledge)."

Let's keep praying this Pope keeps things going in the right direction.
Viva la Papa!

Faith and...

Last week my brother, mother and I went to the Italian market in Philadelphia with the sole intention of finding Limonce Panettone. We walked for hours in our hunt to discover where this hidden treasure was buried. And alas, good St. Anthony led us to it as it was found at his very own Italian cafe at the end of the ally. FYI, the market is found between Christian and 9th should anyone be interested in going. This place was so Italian I felt that I was really in Italy. Being that I returned from the ancient city of Roma just last month, I knew what it was to be at an authentic Italian market and let me tell you, it wasn't too far from home. The culture of this area was something I've never felt before in this country. It made me feel like I belonged there. It was like being home in a way. My "people" were there. When I think about it, this sense, this feeling is what I believe most people of my generation regretfully have never felt. We all want to know our heritage, our ancestors, where we came from, and yet we in America are not encouraged to keep our European traditions alive. We've lost so much of who and what we came from. We are all American. But what in the heck does that mean? No one can really answer that and I think it's because we have a basis on nothing substantially solid. We have nothing to unite us aside from a false "liberty" that gives us warm fuzzies yet never manifests when it comes to havingn to pay exorbitant property taxes and health insurance bills. But I digress...
Oh, how I wish we returned to the old ways of our ethnic cultures. I miss my Italian heritage. I miss hearing the accordion, seeing women work at preparing for home-made pasta while wearing those precious knee-length dresses with their tattered hair pinned up into a bun. On a side note, these were real women I can assure you. They knew what it was to work and to work hard. To all those feminists who say that women we like dolls in a "doll house" take a look at the lives of these women, take a good look at what these valiant women endured on a daily basis-it will put you to shame. Oh those women make me crazy. They do nothing but complain about things they know nothing about. But I digress again. I miss the vegetable gardens with the five foot high tomato vines and the summer canning parties full of sweat, tears and cut thumbs. But how can I get it back? Why did we lose these happy memories?
In my days of meandering about this orb of existence, I see people my age and younger walking around with nothing to give themselves to, nothing to define themselves as. They want to belong, but to what? They want to support something, but what? And with this question comes an answer that will not surprise anyone with common sense. I think that if we had ever kept our cultural roots, that the rise in child violence, drug abuse and suicide would not be so high. Why do children resort to these habits and behaviors? Because they are starving for something which they are not getting and which they do not know. They want to be part of a family, of a community. They want both a spiritual and a physical family to love and to fight for. Faith in the end is what they seek though they would die before they ever admitted this. But observe that those cultures that had a great sense of cultural identity usually had a strong faith. This importance of having a culture worked hand in hand with a person's religious beliefs. Most every western culture had traditions revolving around their faith. The faith was what made many of their traditions; it was what made culture come to life in a sense. Perhaps this desire for a world of faith is the answer to retrieving this world of culture. I believe that as truth and beauty come part and parcel, so too do faith and culture. So may we find our faith and through it our heritage and may be bring back the beauty of our ancient people's so that their faith in God and their love of culture be not in vain.

Should anyone be interested in finding an excellent Italian bakery check out Isgros. We stumbled upon this bakery in our journey through the city and how happy I am we did. They make some of the country's best cannolis and pinniolis. I highly recommend you try them. Buon Appetito. Ciao

Hope of Christ, Espouse Me

For all of those who suffer or who know the pain of feeling your heart ache in agony or who feel there is no hope in this wretched world, listen to the words I have posted below. Know that I commiserate with you should you be feeling such things, for I too know what it is to have a heart that is broken and I know what it is to want to despair. Yet, we must believe that there is a God who is aiding us in these hours of grief, otherwise, all that Christ suffered and died for was in vain. And this cannot be so. Our lesson then is this- to keep your eyes on our goal; we mustn't lose the sight of Him whom we must strive to imitate and to love. He knows us; He knows our hearts and He sees our tears. But every good Father must discipline those whom He loves. And every good doctor must hurt his patient in order to heal him. God is our Father, God is our Divine doctor. He does all with love. Believe this, just keep going and hope...he who perseveres shall gain eternal life.

"The Everlasting God has in His wisdom foreseen from eternity the cross He now presents to you as a gift from His inmost Heart. This cross He now sends you He has considered with His all-knowing eyes, understood with His divine mind, tested with His wise justice, warmed with loving arms and weighed with His own Hands, to see that it be not one inch too large and not one once too heavy for you. He has blessed it with His Holy Name, anointed it with His grace, perfumed it with His consolation, taken one last glance at you and your courage, and then sent it to you from heaven, a special greeting from God to you, an alms of the all-merciful love of God."
St. Francis de Sales

Prepare Ye the Way for Our Lady

This here is an image long forgot by many people's of our day. It is an image of the Blessed Mother as she prepares to give birth to the Son of God. How sweet she looks all swollen with Child. Yes, she carried the Christ Child in her womb, not a nine month old fetus. While we have these last few days to prepare for Christmas, let's do so by giving ourselves over to Him whom the Heavens could not contain; to Him who humbled Himself, assuming the form of weak and sinful man. As He found Himself well pleased to come to us only through the most Immaculate Virgin Mary, may we then go to Him through her, and ask her to permit us to hold her slumbering Infant Jesus in our own hearts as we receive Him in Holy Communion. We must shut the door of the world in our hearts if we are to open it to this Sacred Babe. "Lully Lullay thou little tiny child. Bye bye lully lullay." Sing a song to Him in your heart and comfort Him as He suffers from those who hate and mock His holy Love. What better gift to give Him than our very selves this Christmas. Throw off the shackles of secularism and ascend to the divine creche at the throne of Mary's pure and tender heart. Dear Lady of the Expectation, pray for us and bring us ever closer to this Son whom we, through you, greatly await.
Grazie mille Maria por mia bene esame!

Vigilate et Orate

It's funny when you think about the similarities between the spiritual and the physical realities. They really parallel each other. For example, as the germs in the air are always present to us, so too are the snares of the devil. Yet by God's divine providence and great mercy we have our inner immune systems to help fight off the onset of physical sickness along with the help of the sacraments and the intercession of the Saints in Heaven to protect us from falling into the pits of sin. However, because of the fall of our first parents, man will never be free from the attack of either of these enemies. Germs for example never stop "germ"inating. They keep regenerating into new forms. They are perpetually generating new unknown means of infiltrating into our bodies much like the devils forever seek to infiltrate our souls. Regardless of our precautionary efforts, these enemies will forever seek to creep into us; in one sense it's how they keep themselves alive. They are always ready and watching. But are we?
While we're on the topic of disease and its attack on the body, I thought I might mention this bird flu everyone is talking about. My geography professor recently stated that he heard scientists say it's not a matter of if but when the flu will become a universal air born pandemic. Is this not a what a wake up call to mankind? Now before we join the rest of society in readying ourselves for assisted suicide, we must try and see this through the eyes of the soul. First, remember that all things happen for a reason. God does not permit or will anything unless it is for some good. Second, every man must one day die. There shall come a day of judgment for each and every one of us, where we will face God and give an accounting for our life. We may find death in bed, at the hand of an illness, by bloodshed, fire, water, shark, poison, etc. etc. There are a hundred ways we might find death and the bird flu is just one of many. But death, though terrifying, should not be as frightening as we make it out to be. The Saints longed for death. St. Francis called death "Sister Death." That was how familiar he wanted to be with it. It was a friend to him because he believed that death was the portal through which he would meet the One Whom he desired to see. This being the Holy Trinity. The reason why so many people are afraid of this flu is because they are afraid to die and they are afraid to die because they do not know God. So many people live morally sinful lifestyles which they tell themselves is acceptable but which I believe they know to be bad. Subconsciously they know they are wrong because for one thing, they are not happy people, and when confronted with the thought of death, their consciences are so pricked that they have to fight to hide themselves by either running to a pill or bottle or paying some psychiatrist to tell them everything will be fine. But none of these band-aids are ever going to give these people what they seek. Only Christ can offer them that gift of peace which He alone owns. And how stupid we are to not go to Him for it. He is so generous with His gifts and yet we refuse Him when He extends them to us. But why are we so obtuse? Because we don't want to suffer the loss of who we think we are and become a new man, a happier man, a holier man. We are happy in our misery though we really aren't.
Our God is an awesome God. He is so creative (that's a major understatement). Because He is so creative and because He knows His creatures so well, being that He made them, He best knows what would motivate them into returning to Him. Only God could set up a situation where all of mankind was at such a risk of death. Now I cannot say whether this flu is God's absolute or permissive will, it doesn't really matter, but what I can say is that God knows what is best for us. Regardless, God wants to use it to bring us back to our senses and to bring us back to Him. Because God loves us, He will allow something that man cannot cure to threaten the whole of humanity. But this is for good reason. If man is scared enough by the thought of death then perhaps he will return his prayers, begin going to mass, make a good sacramental confession and amend his life so that he will always be ready for death whenever and however it might meet him.
In a way I hope this flu does spread so it slaps people hard enough in the face to humble them before God before they lose their souls forever in hell. Though this might sound hateful, I can assure you it is not. Real love (or charity; no I'm not a modernist) wants what's best for the a person's soul more than his body. But note, this doesn't deny a man's wanting the health and happiness of another man's body. It only means it isn't the priority of the two parts. Take for example when you say "I you love." You do not mean you love only their body, you love both their body and their soul. The two are essential in making that person who they are. So because there are two elements involved in the existence of man, body and soul, we must want what is best for both but more importantly the soul over the body since the body will die but the soul will go on to eternity where the body will become the food for worms until the Last Judgment. If a person has to get sick in order to learn that he needs to change his life and make reparation for his sins, then may everyone get sick. Do you see my point? The body is the temple God gave us to assist us in getting to Heaven and the soul is the ruler of this body. It is therefore in the soul that our very person exists. Thus the soul's health takes precedence over the body's since it is in the soul that the body is lead. If you saw a very holy sick person sitting next to a very evil healthy people, who would you say was healthier? I would say the former because the importance lies within not without.
It's time to wake up humanity. It's time to destroy the false idols of self which we've carved into our beings. It's time to smash the lies of false religion and moral relativism which are infecting our world far worse than the bird flu. Let us begin by returning to the practice of Catholicism which means the practicing of the sacraments. We are in a battle both spiritual and germinal (not a real word). Let us not put our heads in the sand by ignoring these truths that threaten us, but instead, may we me ready for them by being holy and by doing our moral and religious duties. And if one day one of these enemies should find us, may God come to our assistance for He surely will to those who have sought His Love. Remember.... Watch ye and pray, for you know not when the lord of the house cometh (Mark 13:33-35)

My Brief Sabbatical

To those who are reading my blog I ask you to please remember my in your prayer as I have a killer final on Tuesday in British Literature which I am not looking forward to. Grazie Mille! And Deo Gratias, thus far I've received two A's for the semester: one in Public Speaking (a minor miracle) and one in Geography and hopefully another on the way in Logic. Surprisingly, my Logic final was a challenge. I was even the last to finish the test. There we were, Fleeger and myself. He stood there pensively waiting for me to finish so he could go celebrate his 36th birthday at his favorite south Philly bar. I didn't care that I was the only one left; we had another hour and twenty minutes left in the period. I take my time, what can I say. I did study for the exam, but there were bizarre questions on it which I was not expecting. Why do teachers have to throw in asinine questions that are hardly discussed in class? Blast them! For example, Plato's "Gyges Ring." We discussed that for maybe a span of seven seconds. Good heavens Fleeger, what a stretch. And Fleeger, by the way, I have it on good authority (thank you FS) that St. Augustine did not say that evil does not exist; yes, man's ability to choose evil is impossible but not because evil does not exist, rather because man is incapable of choosing that which is evil for evils sake. He can choose evil but he chooses it as a form of relative good. This is not to say that evil is least form of good. Evil cannot exist without good but it is not a part of good, it is the absence of it. There is a difference. I didn't think that Augustine would be so false. No offense, but I suggest you not teach this information again until you receive a proper Thomistic theology course, and I don't mean one taught by a Jesuit, not unless he follows the Church prior to 1968. One day when you are a Catholic you'll understand why I say this.
Well, I am forcing my eyes to stay open so it's time for me to ten,four. Until I next resume living, i.e. once I've completed the semester, I want to wish everyone a very blessed Christmas. Please savor every day of it. What? Didn't you know? Christmas is 12 days long. God knows how to have a party, doesn't He? So enjoy it and enjoy it the way He intended. I will be in touch soon. God speed you all and keep you warm. Just think, spring is only three months away! Oh, I can smell the mimosa trees now.
OH, one last note... Congratulations to Nick Beck and Mary Heffernan on their engagement. What a beautiful couple you two will become. May the Holy Family bless you both.

A Bride of Christ

By J. Corson Miller

Her childhood-years were gay and bright,
As many children's are;
Within her heart she kept a light
Brave-burning, as a star.
With Dawn she laughed, and knew the Night
For magic dreams afar.

In maidenhood she grew apace
With Beauty sweet as Heaven;
There was a glory on her face,
Like roses hushed at even.
She lost not sanctifying grace,
Her virtues, they were seven.

And nightly 'round her hallowed bed
The Angels came to sing;
Unknown, they wove about her head
A mystic bridal-ring.
"Her innocence, for veil," they said,
"She wears, to greet her King."

And one spoke: "See, her hands, how still
They lie upon her breast!
From her dear brow we shall distill,
For Virgin-Mary blest,
A lily-bloom whose incense will
Give some poor sinner rest."

Nay, Womanhood was not for her,
Where Sin and Sorrow 'bide;
She who was long God's chorister,
Gladly took Death for guide.
The day she left, He came for her,
With Love Divine aflame for her--
The Bridegroom for His Bride.

(Source: The Catholic World, October, 1920.)

What a beautiful sentiment this poem depicts. While I would love to delve into this refreshing pool of poetic thought and describe the sweet images this poem paints for me, I think sometimes it's better if I say nothing and let the thoughts you conceive carry your heart to wherever you find it calls you. To wherever that place may be, know that mine is not too far away; I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

To all the virgins of His throne,
In purity His Heart you own.
For all the girls who seek Him thus,
We beg you so, please pray for us.

Santa Gemma, te amo.

The Nightmare of Christmas Present

While I was sitting here listening quietly to some of the most soul chilling Christmas music I was shocked to discover this sad display of just another reason why Santa Clause should not be shoved down children's throats. We should listen to the cries of our little ones and not force them into this torturous ordeal.
Santa Clause. What to say of the good Coca Cola classic icon of what Christmas is all about? Well, not only does he insult Good St. Nicholas and our holy Cathoic faith, but he spoon-feeds the gluttonous materialism children today are suffering from. What's worse, it doesn't matter whether the children are naughty or nice, they get whatever they want and if they don't get it they fuss and complain without ever saying thank you for all they already have been given. If this so called "Santa" who displays no proof of being at all Catholic or holy, did exist, and I were him, I'd say there are a mass of children getting lignite coal in their stockings this year; it might wake them up, you never know. Nothing like a little black coal to warm the heart, huh?
Not only is Santa Clause deceptive, he's also annoying. I never really liked him; something is wrong with a man who never looks the same twice. Poor children. What torture they endure at the hands of parents of modern culture. Sorry Caleb and Hayley. One day...one day, I hope things will change.
Merry Advent to all and to all a good night...

The English Mind of the Me

Some people ask me why I have chosen English as my major. My answer... to further my ability to communicate both orally and textually those traditions and beliefs I hold most near to my heart. Though all majors are good, none of them allow the student to understand how to communicate their ideas like English and for this reason I choose it for my primary study.
English is a beautiful language when it’s spoken properly, yet who speaks it in its pure form anymore? So few children today know how to write well or express their thoughts verbally which I suspect is due to a lack of proper education in this field. Not only is writing and oral expression a necessity in this life, it is also something that we use for the bulk of our human existence. How can a person do anything without the practical use of good communication? Indeed, they won’t go far in life without this practical skill. Additionally, who doesn’t love that sense of satisfaction one gets after having successfully expressed to others what one believes and feels? It’s a moment of great pleasure to be sure, but most young people don’t know what they’re missing and this must end.
In my field of work, which, please God, will be teaching, I hope to associate whatever texts or assignments we have to work on with our glorious Catholic faith. (This assumes I will be teaching in a Catholic institute.) This won’t be too arduous of a task I can assure you. Through my own years of study, I have come to be amazed as to how much scandal lurks in the pages of classical literature. This being such, I hope to disclose these sinful behaviors to the students since much of what happened centuries ago is happening today and this would be a ripe opportunity to discuss with them why these behaviors are wrong and then go into the consequences of these sinful acts. This will be where those fun five page essays assignments come into play. Doesn’t everyone love to write?
Though all of what I have mentioned is fine and noble, I should mention that the real passion in my heart beats for something far superior. There is nothing in this life which would please me more than to be spread the truth of Christ to those who have never had a chance to know it. Today, I see a world permeated with immorality and apostasy and my heart aches to think of where these poor souls will be unless someone is out there educating them by exposing the lies the world has sold to them.
The American culture needs to be reformed by our living out our Catholic faith and a great place to start is with our youth by giving them a proper Catholic education which has been robbed from our world. As St. Thomas More believed faith works with reason and if we can bring this great faith to our children by proper formation both in areas academic and religious , then I have faith that we might have a chance of rescuing our world from the grip of Satan and restore, to and through Christ, His wayward children.
So why English and not Theology? While religion is my love one must be practical, I have to work, I have to eat. (I’ll master in theology :)
St. Thomas More, St. Ignatius and St.Angela Merici, pray for us and save our sullied schools and our slothful students.

John Donne, Undun

As I sit here huddling up to my space heater so my little fingers do not freeze off I am thinking of what I should write about next. While I don't want to be a bore, I do want to write about my own interests. That's the point of this thing, no? So what will I choose to write for tonight? Well, it should be something I find personally interesting, that's obvious, but I also want it bear some universal appeal. I've got it. Poetry! She's the lucky winner folks. So here you have it, Poetry. Let's begin shall we? (Please don't mind my melodrama; I've recently had some serious sips of Limoncello and am very peppered.)
While it is common knowledge (if you've kept up with my blogs) that I am a student, it would help if you knew that I am an English major and, being that I am, I have a deep love for poetry. Yet, up until this last spring, I never knew what a poem could do to a person. I never walked into the mind of a poet, I never plunged myself into their hearts, listened to their words or saw with their eyes. However, last April that all changed. Last spring I took a Literary Studies course and in it everyone was required to blindly choose a poem, explicate it and then present the poem to the class. The poem I chose was one written by one of my now favorite poets, John Donne. The poem I chose happened to be one of Donne's most noted pieces; the title of the poem is "Valediction: Forbidden Mourning."
You wouldn't believe how much this poem touched me. I discussed it with family, friends, co-workers. It blew me away! In point of fact, it even drove me to read it at a public poetry reading at my school. This I can tell you is so unlike me, but again, it affected me so deeply that I wanted to share this experience with others.
In this poem I discovered what it was to enter into the metaphysical world of a poet. By metaphysical I mean something that "investigates the world by rational discussion of its phenomena rather than by intuition or mysticism." (Anniina Jokinen "17th C. English Literature : Metaphysical Poets.") In plain English, it is something that compares people, experiences or thoughts using paradoxical expressions and intellectual wit.
The layers of meaning enveloping this particular poem staggers the mind. Once you start to see the poem in its proper perspective the mouth drops and the mind stops to bask in the glory of this ingenious work. To attempt to explain what it was like for me to explicate this poem I'll give you an analogy. The experience reminded me of those pictures at mall kiosks in the early 90's. The picture, when you first looked at it, was a bunch of replicated lines with splotches of color interwoven amidst them. If you're twenty four or older you'll know what I'm talking about. Yet, when you'd stare at it the image long enough, you're eyes would cross and then you'd see a three dimensional figure come to life. It was really cool once your eyes adjusted and you could see the picture for the reality it was. Unfortunately I don't think they make them anymore. Anyway, that adjusting of the eyes is something of what I felt happen to me, only in a metaphysical (meaning beyond the physical) sense, when I explicated this poem. Now enough talk. Here it is....

Valediction: Forbidden Mourning

As virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say,
"Now his breath goes," and some say, "No."

So let us melt, and make no noise,
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move;
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.

Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears;
Men reckon what it did, and meant;
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.

Dull sublunary lovers' love
Whose soul is sense cannot admit
Of absence, 'cause it doth remove
The thing which elemented it.

But we by a love so much refined,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assured of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss.

Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.

If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two;
Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.

And though it in the centre sit,
Yet, when the other far doth roam,
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.

Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like th' other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.

I don't want to leave you reading this poem at face value without further explaining what it means. First you need to know the context of the poem. For one thing, John wrote this to his wife, Anne, as he was leaving to go an a three month holiday to France with some buddies. This poem therefore reflects a good bye to her and reveals Donne's impression of what real love is and what their love means to him. What you are about to read is an edited version of the explication I presented. Forgive my contrast in tonality, I had to be formal.

Donne, having had great knowledge of alchemy and astronomy, uses related images in his poem to symbolize the profound level of love held between he and his wife. These images of circular realities recur throughout the poem. Planets, compasses, gold, whose symbol is a circle with a point in the center , circular rings, spheres... All speak of a harmony, a unity, a perfect completion. Historically, the circle was symbolic of eternity and perfection representative of the Holy Trinity. It would not be so unlike Donne to have compared his love to that of the Trinity as he understood the depth and beauty of God's love and perfection, and wished to compare his own love with his wife the Theirs. Yes, Donne was a melancholic.
In the first stanza Donne makes the distinction between man and the soul. The body "whisper[s] to their souls to go", as though in death. The separation of two intimately related beings. One being dead without the other. Yet as "the virtuous men" (the strong, the faithful man) "passes mildly away", he knows he can go, resting assure that his love is secure with his beloved, unlike those who when the "breath goes now some say no." In other words, his relationship withstands all absence in silent peace and "makes no noise." This point is reaffirmed when Donne writes "no tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move." Tears are not necessary for a love as sublime as theirs.
"[T]were profanation of our joys to tell the laity our love." By this he reveals how their love is so sacred, so soaring above the natural layer of affection, that it is not worthy of being shared among the commoner, the "laity", as it would tinge the virtue of the love they share.
The weakness of bodily love, "whose soul is sense", results in "harms and fears". These relationships cannot sustain a separation without great aversion. Conversely, when there exists a parting between those who "love in the mind", represented by the moving of planets or "spheres", in times of "trepidation" which is "greater far," since it is above that of the common man, there is no harm or great loss, since it is superior, as it "is innocent" i.e. harmless, trusted. No distance can shake their unity no matter how far they part. His love, like the graceful planets, moves peacefully even when having to span great distance.
In the fourth stanza Donne reiterates this point. He makes the case that worldly love "dull sublunary lovers love" like the earth is unpredictable, subject to disaster. For when one "[d]oth remov[es] that which elemented it" it crumbles i.e. without the physical presence of the other loves, the love shatters and ends in disaster.
Yet his love "so much refined" that they themselves cannot fathom its depths, "that ourselves know not what it is," do not depend on the physical presence of the other to exist in their love, "[c]are less, eyes, lips and hands to miss." It is not in the body that her seeks his love but in her soul.
"Our two souls therefore which are one," alluding to the Catholic teaching that in marriage the two shall become as one flesh, states how one may leave and yet remain still near. As by beating gold it expands, so does the love of lovers when separated.
He further uses the symbol of the compass to illustrate this point. This, I believe, is one of the most beautiful metaphors Donne uses to describe their relationship. Donne states that if one were to say they were two, then they are two like the points of a compass are two. The one stays put, "thy soul, the fixed foot makes no show to move," yet follows from afar should the other "lead."
After having done some research on the subject, I discovered that the compass he is referring to is not a map compass, it is a drawing compass. This makes more sense when comparing his words to his relationship. "Though it in the center sit, and yet the other far doth roam..." "and comes erect as that comes home". She being his stability ( i.e. the needle in the center) stays while he goes abroad, yet in truth they never separate just as two points never separate on the compass. He being like the pencil foot, "obliquely run[s]" and is made "just" i.e. perfect as a circle is drawn perfect only because the center needle holds its ground while the other traces around it making him "end where he begun". After coming full circle he finds perfection, he finds unity and he finds his one true love, his wife, upon his return from his journey.

I know this was a mindful and perhaps even poorly worded, but I hope you persevered with it because the beauty it contains is truly praiseworthy. We can learn much from it by desiring love that is real not fleeting; love that is pure not sensate; love that is just not bent on the perverse. So if any of you out there tonight have nothing better to do, pick up an old book of poems and try to experience the world of a poet. It's worth the effort even if you hate poems. You never know what goodies you may find. Well, I've met my bedtime so it's time to sign off. Here's wishing everyone a holy and blessed Advent. Buona Notte y'all!

The Greatest Gift

"It is not granted to the merits of men that a man should touch and consecrate Christ's sacrament and make the bread of angels his food. Great is this mystery and great is the dignity of priests who have been given powers not granted to angels. For priests only, duly ordained in the Church, have power to offer Mass and consecrate Christ's body. When a priest celebrates Mass he honors God; he gladdens the angels; he strengthens the Church; he succer the people; he gives rest to the dead-he makes himself a sharer of all good things" (Imitation of Christ 4:5)

Let us always remember this. The office of a priest is of higher dignity than an angels. Therefore, we must love and pray for our priests both good and otherwise. They have been called to fulfill a great responsibility before God, yet they cannot survive these tumultuous times without our prayers and sacrifices. We must rally our hearts and fight for our priests; they are being hunted by demons who seek nothing but to sift them like wheat. We must be there for them as they fight against all hell to fulfill this sacred calling and thus save souls. Let us love our priests enough so to lay down ourselves for them as they have for us; for no greater love than this hath man known.
May the mystical body of Christ not allow the heart to suffer alone in its effort to fight this diabolic cancer. We should all of us, every member of the Body of Christ, come together to support and strengthen this vital organ called the priesthood which keeps our very bodies and souls alive. To the Divine Heart of Jesus we confide this heart. God save our priests, God save our heart.

Viva Amore

Having just returned from Roma I have so much to tell. I went to Rome for my sister's wedding at the Vatican and can only say that I felt like it was all a dream. It was so beautiful, so surreal that it could have been an illusion. Can you imagine being married at St. Peter's Basilica and, with that, at the tomb of St. John Chrysostom? Amazing doesn't due justice in describing the incredibility of the moment. Although my sister did not know who this man was, it nevertheless touched my soul knowing that she was exchanging her vows of love before all of Heaven but particularly before the tomb of this awesome Saint. How symbolic it was. The union of two people in the sacrament of marriage literally standing parallel with the tomb of a man who achieved the great spiritual union with Christ through the means of personal sanctity. Two unions, both holy, one symbolic of the other. Doesn't it take your heart away?
Hearing my sister and her husband share the intimacy of their love as they exchanged their vows was verily inspiring. I was moved to tears as I watched and listened as they promised one another their fidelity and love. It was a moment of indescribable emotion. If only I had the gift of expression I could say what it was it did to me, but alas I suffer not to possess this gift and so only my frustration and vain attempt to express it will suffice to convey its impact upon me. Forgive my intellectual incompetence. It suffices I say that it was something I will never forget.
It has been many a year since I last attended a wedding but I was happy to witness this sacred moment since at this wedding the realization of what marriage is hit me harder than a ton of bricks. Don't ask me why but it did. The sacrificing of one's love and life for another with the promise of abandoning all things for the sake of that love and to satisfy the will of God. How incredible, how divine! To my bitter regret so few couples understand, or worst, even want to understand the beauty of the sacrament of marriage. Despite what public opinion says, marriage is not simply a one day celebration full of pretty dresses, lots of wine and good friends. It is a lifetime commitment which people should take much more seriously. The theology involved in a marriage is as involved as any of the other sacred mysteries of Christ yet why don't we give it the same respect and reverence as we do these others? Well, maybe we don't give the other sacraments their due respect and therein lies our problem. The great mystery of marriage lies is in the fact that it is one of the means God created to sanctify humanity and to procreate mankind, which He can only enact by the free will offering of man and woman in the marital embrace. It is a holy and happy means to salvation but only if it is worked at by prayer and self-denial. But this subject could take me another hour to write about so I'll now return to my sister...
My sister's wedding was indeed laced with many special graces but it also carried with that it a spirit of melancholy which most of us know and appreciate if we've suffered the loss of someone close to us. Though I am not one for getting too personal on a blog seeing that I know not who reads this, I will admit that I have suffered the loss of those dear to my heart, but now again, I will suffer the loss of my sister for she will live her marital life on that lush emerald isle which we know as Ireland. But as the Italians say "c'e vivo". I've lived through these losses so may times that one would think I'd start to accept it, but I don't. Yet I pray by the grace of God that this sadness will convert into a hope that will lead me onward towards a world where goodbyes do not exist and where people will never have to be without those whom they love.
I hate saying goodbye. I think it is the most deplorable expression in existence outside of saying "I hate you." To separate or to no longer see someone you love is so unnatural to us. I think this is why parting with our loved ones hurts us at the very core of our being. Yes, we have the modern convenience of telephoning, but the mimicking of a voice is not the same as seeing or touching someone you love. Simulation does not cut it when you want to be with a dear friend or loved one. Imagine a bride being given a lifesize photograph of her bridegroom on the night of her wedding with a cell phone to hear his voice for whenever she gets lonely or has the desire to tell him how deeply she loves him and how she wants nothing but to serve him for the rest of her years. If this woman were my sister, she would have all of Italy out in the streets in search of how to get her husband back to her in the flesh. Mama Mia, there would be quite a ruckus and rightly so! Our nature demands we have the real thing, but when that is taken away how sharp and how severe that pain reaches into the bowels of our soul. We want to have that person, we want to see them move, hear them breathe, look them in the eye; neither pictures nor telephones satisfy this need in us. Come to think of it though, it is because of this separation that people can love all the more and appreciate who it is they love. So what's better? I leave that for you to decide.
From this trip I have come to see how beautiful a thing marriage is and how blessed people are if they find that one person to share their life with. I am so grateful to God that my sister found that man whom she's always dreamed of having and please pray for their happy end. But there is another kind of love which I feel is worth mentioning; this love is not a love of matrimony, however its flame is just as real, perhaps even more so. This love is a love of sacrifice for it suffers in not possessing the one whom it loves. It must learn to love another without loving them. It suffers the negation of the one it loves for the good of the other but loves them nevertheless with the hope of one day seeing that love made manifest in the world of eternity. This love is hard and it is sad but it is truly beautiful. Though many experience the joys of marital love, I believe there are more people than are thought true, who can say they understand the latter love. While God blesses some with marriage He has blessed others by going without it. Indeed, both loves are hard and both are good but both are not always seen for the gift they are. So to those who are married, be grateful for it and never lose sight of the treasure you have been given. Never forget that moment when you promised your spouse you would be true to them until death did you part. Love them with all your heart and give them all that you are, for you'll never know how precious love is until you know what it is to go without it. Don't be the one to discover this truth once its all too late. Viva amore!

A Cry for Modesty

I'm in the process of researching for a class which demands I give an eight to ten minute persuasive speech; because I like to take advantage of these opportunities to express what I believe in to others, I chose a topic which I know will cause a bit of consternation, however I feel it is one worth sacrificing my neck for. Although I have a reputation for saying things I shouldn't, I think this time I'm justified because by speaking up I'm 1.) potentially helping influence the future of a person's life and 2.) showing my audience that I and care for their spiritual and physical well-being. But what is my topic? Well, now that I've stoked your interest I will tell you. The topic I've chosen to discuss is the restoration of female modesty. Yes, I'm battling a beast greater than Goliath. Please God I survive.
Incredibly, within the last forty eight hours I've printed about 75 pages of material which I intend to use for this speech. I have been happily dumb-founded by the amount of material available for those who want to defend this sorely touchy subject. It's amazing how many women are fighting for this return of modesty in our society. And this is true not only among Christians. There is a beautiful twenty eight year old Jewish woman named Wendy Shalit who wrote a book called "Return to Modesty" who has become a cultural paradigm for girls who are looking for role models who possess this lost virtue. She's hysterical and her book is highly worth reading. It is full of contemporary vignettes which most girls today can associate with. She relates that from Vogue to Teen magazines, girls fight to gain the attention of boys by selling their bodies though losing their self-respect. Shalit argues that because we have lost modesty, woman are falling into one of the many cultural ills like anorexia and depression. She also explains that the increased numbers of date rape and sexual assault are not surprising when one stops to look at what women are wearing. Women think that men should keep their hands off of their bodies when they parade themselves about like pieces of meat to be devoured. What do they expect men (who are predominantly visually oriented) to do when they see her walk by with cleavage bursting from here to kingdom come? The reasoning is absurd. However, women still wonder why they are not respected. Need I explain this?
In another article by Regina Schmiedicke, she states that historically, women of nobility and class wore robes and covered their bodies from the public eye. It was the slaves who were "forced to go naked". Notice, they were forced. The concumbines were the ones who dressed in short skirts in order to advertise that they were "sexually available." Sound familiar? Is this not what woman say by their conduct and dress? If women want respect, they must dress appropriately. Cover your body and you are more likely attract those men who will look you in the eye and love you for who you are rather than those who will look at your chest or legs and love you like an animal who alone wants to satisfy his carnal nature.
I was once very immodest so I understand the reasoning behind why a lot of the girls today dress this way, but I do not excuse it. I wish someone had told me earlier in life that I dressed to attract boys who would use me for my body. Too late have many girls discovered that they lost their sacred gift of virginity because of their ignorance of the importance, beauty and holiness of female modesty.
Another beautiful point I came across regards the aspect of the sacredness of women as a species. It said that anything sacred is veiled; the tabernacle, the chalice, the physical union of a man and a woman. These veilings are meant to tell us that there is something here that is mysterious and special and therefore should not be exposed to any and everyone. Woman are sacred because they possess a secret treasure, the treasure of creating life within them. Yet women do not recognize this gift, it is not prized by society and so they waste their gift on men who will dispose of it once they're through with her. The marital union is gravely mocked by those who do not understand its value; they do not know this again because we do not speak of it enough and hence women around the globe desecrate their blessed sanctuaries which end in producing barren fruit.
I'd like to relate an occurance which happened to me that opened my eyes to the gravity of this situation. This past summer I went to Ocean City, Maryland and took a dive in the salty Atlantic which I had not done in about eight years. Swimming in the ocean (or anywhere for that matter) was something I had long forgotten because I couldn't get myself to swim around men if I was dressed immodestly. Beaches are full of immodest people and I didn't want to feel pressured into wearing a rather modest one piece bathingsuit in public (cute though it was) simply because everyone around me was dressed improperly. However, this vacation I said to heck with everyone, I'm going to swim in shorts and a tee-shirt regardless as to who laughs at me. I did just that and loved every minute of it. When I went back to my place on the sand something crossed my mind that made me realize how far removed our world is from modesty and it hit me so profoundly that I made a mental note to never forget it. What befell me was innocent but nevertheless impressionable. I got out of the water and walked up to my umbrella and sat down on my chair. I was soaking wet. I sat in the sun to dry off but the clothing was so wet that I wasn't drying as fast as I hoped I would. I brought a second shirt to wear for when I was ready to leave and thought to put it on to feel more comfortable. Then a thought crossed my mind "Do I change my shirt here or should I go to the ladies room?" Looking around me I saw girls and women dressed so close to naked they could have been and realized that even if I did change my shirt in public, the men would have so much to feast their eyes upon I would probably go unnoticed. This little event made me recognize the depth of this moral problem in our culture. But more significantly, I realized that there exists a dangerous slippery slope for modest women who find themselves in these situations. It is so easy for women to rationalize subtle immodest behavior simply because other women dress more immodest than themselves. How dangerous it is; how careful we must be not to fall into this trap.
If I ever told this story to any secular person they would probably think me puritanical, but that would merely reinforce the point I want to make. We have lost our sense of the sacredness of the body and look at where we are because of it. Modest women need to rally for the restoration of modesty among other woman for to do so is to truly love womanhood. Sorry femi-nazi's, but only through true chaste modest female conduct will men treat us with the honor and respect we deserve. We must educate people by explaining to them the dire consequences of this grave social evil. The healthy future of marriages, families and thus of our nation are threatened by the immorality of immodesty. Are we really willing to take that chance? I'm not. Let's pray more young women hear our cry for modesty and come to love her for the beautiful gift she is, and lets pray that the little stone I throw at this monster will effect a happy ending by helping rescue these girls from this wicked foe.

Dolcis Humus

Humility. Comes from the Latin word "humus" meaning ground or soil. It's no coincedence that this virtue is related to the closest aspect of the earth we can know. In our eyes it's so dirty, but it's actually quite clean for it is that which in its nature it was meant to be and that makes it clean. If it wasn't "dirty" it wouldn't be dirt. This filth we call dirt, though gravely misunderstood, is essential to the foundation of the earth. It is what holds the world together, produces vegetation and gives our feet a place to stand. Without it, we would not have the beautiful world we see around us. What great lessons we can learn from this dirt in the spiritual life. Humility is the spiritual "dirt" that keeps our souls vegetated. This most rejected virtue does so much for the soul that we often do not give it enough credit. It builds character in ways no other virtue can. As St. Thomas More said "Humility,[is] that low, sweet root, [f]rom which all heavenly virtues shoot." This we must remember when dirt shows itself beneath the "souls" of our feet. Let's put our face a bit closer to the ground and examine with eyes of faith this heavenly dirt we call humility.
Humility has a funny way of befriending herself to us. In order to come close to her she'll ask us to trek down paths we do not wish to follow. One of these paths is called the via humilis, also known as the way of humiliation. How challenging a road this is goes without saying. You'll often see people falling over their feet, forgetting where they're going, or having to ask for directions, even the men! To those who risk their pride to follow humilities sweet trails, great blessings are accorded. Without the eyes of faith, this truth appears as foolishness; why should anyone become lowly and admit they need help? Yet, through these simple sufferings of humilation comes self awareness. Through this self awareness the sojourner learns the secret to true happiness, this being that he is nothing and needs Almighty God to take him and transform him into another image of Christ. For to know and imitate Christ is the key to eternal joy. But to imitate Christ is to imitate humility.
To give an example of exactly what humility does to a person I want to relate the life of a very holy man, St. Augustine. St. Augustine was not always the saint we remember him as. He was quite the pagan. In point of fact, it was he who said "Lord make me chaste, but not yet." This man was a great sinner, living an immoral life most people today could relate with. Yet over time he was humbled. However it wasn't through the humiliations of the body that he was humbled, rather, it was through the humilitation of the mind that his pride found its match. This type of humiliation, which Augustine's personality demanded, is an advanced form of humility since it is like a magnifying glass upon our conceited ego. It is more painful than the bodily forms of humiliation since it touches our very person, that is, our soul and hence it is more acute. It shows us as we are without the rose coloured glasses. But St. Augustine, through much grace, embraced this humility with open arms and from that moment he fought his pride by taking on the yoke of Christ thus becoming what we know him as today, St. Augustine, Doctor and Father of the Church. Humility can do so much to help us if we let her.
Yes, this admittance of who we are is most purifying and most people prefer not to follow the path of humility for this reason; but, to those who persevere, many great blessings are received. The shackles we love to carry will be taken from us and we will experience life as the birds of the heavens. Our spirits will fly upward towards our Eternal Father who will then vouchsafe to grant us further blessings depending on our response to His graces. A warning to those who do not know the way of humility, do not think that once you've made progress in humilty that life will get easy. Humility only strengthens the soul to further take on greater challenges. The climax in the life of those who wish to truly walk this walk comes with its total conquering of our person, body and soul at the stake of losing everything we hold dear. Be courageous but be forewarned.
In order to continue on this road, we must reflect upon the life of Christ. He will be the One who takes us further on this road than we ever could if left to ourselves. He is Humility Incarnate and He is the Way we must follow if we want to become humble. Let us then not scorn this dirt which we see surround us, this dirt that is good and teaches us both how to be, where to trod and Who to follow. She holds in her bosom the secret to finding the way to eternal happiness. So let us listen, for God's holy dirt speaks to us. In sweet humility may we die...+

Late Night Thoughts on Childhood

I have been researching for almost a straight 10 hours (I'm not exaggerating) and I need a glass of wine. Wine is so nice when you're mentally frazzled. It helps warm the soul, calm the nerves and make serious women like me find the giddiness of life. My choices are Merlot and Chianti (I really prefer the latter) It's funny how certain tastes can trigger thoughts in a person. Carlo Rossi's Chianti for example, takes me back to the days when I was little girl. How lovely it was! Grandpa's Sunday macaroni with garlic bread, fresh escarole with Jersey tomatoes along with my little recycled jelly glass cup holding about a quarter inch of red wine. This, I was told, was to help make my blood healthy and my mind silly. Honestly though, I see nothing wrong in giving children alcohol, so long as it's monitored. If anything it will make them sleep and what's wrong with that?
Just now Our Lady's October moon is gently rising over my neighbors rooftop and I can hear little voices outside my window playing out in the street, reveling in the outside air before their parents tell them it's time to come in. What sweet little children they are. I wish I could be out there with them. I remember being little and playing outside with the neighborhood kids. The whole gang would come out and we'd play ultimate man hunt which meant you could hide anywhere in the development and you'd never get caught unless you really sought to be. Later in life I learned to play flashlight tag. Awesome game! So much fun. I'd get dressed all in black (once my favorite color) and wait for the earth to darken and then gather outside with my little friends to experience some of the most exhilarating thrills of my life, at least up till that point in time. Oh the intensity, the excitement. How I miss those days. It's wonderful remembering those days when I was still unaware of the nature of evil, didn't know mortal sin, was free of all worries and knew that mom was there to hold me close whenever I was scared or needed a hug. I slept in the arms of innocence and peacefully waited for the dawn of each new day.
For tonight I'd like to discuss the topic of (if you couldn't already guess) childhood. Childhood has to be one of the most unappreciated gifts... especially among those too young to know anything but. They do not know (and rightly so) what it is they do not bear. Yet once they grow up and drink from the cup of suffering, they begin to recognize what a treasure childhood is. Growing up reminds me of what its like when someone in your life dies or leaves you and you realize how much you love them, because you never thought what life would be like without having them in it. This same effect occurs in people who grow up and taste the pains of life. It amazes me how so many people in their older years say "when I was a boy (girl)", "I remember when my mom (dad)"etc. People always refer to their childhoods to recall those times in their life when they were most happy. But what is it about childhood that makes our hearts reflect? To me the answer to this question is obvious. Innocence is bliss!
But who is to say when childhood must end? I've never read a book where it's concretely defined. But I propose that there is a very good reason why there isn't a set age to conclude the years of childhood.
Childhood should not have an age set to it; I believe childhood does not limit itself by age. For example, a girl in her teenage years can very well be living in childhood. Let me illustrate this for you. I've been privileged to know a young girl, sixteen years old, who, at her age mind you, did not yet know about prostitution, condoms or French kissing. What she did know however, was how to play with her beanie dolls, tell funny tales to her little siblings, write stories about kittens and draw pictures of little girls in hats on dreamy prairies. She is sixteen, she is innocent and she still lives in childhood. She is content in her world of childhood and lives joyfully as she prepares herself through this state to one day blossom into that beautiful woman she will one day be.
I will take this point a step further and say that even an adult can live in a state of childhood. No, I'm not crazy, just listen. This past summer I went on a weekend retreat to a remote haven in the hills of northern Pennsylvania called the Priory of Our Lady of Ephesus. It was a truly wonderful visit and I recommend everyone get there if you can. Anyway, the order of nuns who run the convent are known as the Oblates of Mary. Well, while there I noticed this same spirit of innocence and simplicity among the sisters. Granted they are nuns, but today this means very little. These women radiated a joy that I've never witnessed in anyone. They made my heart burn with a desire to want to be like them. But what was it they had that I wanted? This spirit of a childhood. Now I know that not all people can live secluded from the world like monks and nuns, but have there not been men and women in history who have succeeded in preserving this childhood within them even though they did not live such lives? Indeed there were. We call these people the secular saints. Some examples would be Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, St. Cecilia, St.Elizabeth of Hungary. God does not call everyone to live as a priest or religious but He does call everyone to be perfect and in order to be perfect Christ exhorts we be like little children.
But let's clarify our definition. Being like a child does not mean being foolish, immature, naive or even young. What it means is that one has the desire to be a child of God by trusting oneself completely to His care. No I don't think God expects us to behave foolishly, rather I believe wants us to have that abandonment of heart like that of a child and to not rely on ourselves but on Him.
This spirit is within all of us, even men. Men are certainly not exempt from wanting this. I've seen it shine through them on a natural level. It's so cute too. For example, when I see a man around a doting mother (not even necessarily his own)he exposes a little bit of this spirit hiding within him. He lets himself be interrogated about his eating habits, eats when he doesn't want to, listens to her advice, and always he welcomes the hug. He is like a little boy hiding in big men's clothing. As much as men may appear to not enjoy it, I think they do. I think they like having that woman to be their mother and take care of their needs; they want to be nutured and loved. This attitude may even be the reason why men crave marriage so much. It is their desire to be taken care of and to entrust themselves to another that they are so attracted to the feminine sex, who's primary function is to fulfill these needs. She is a figure on the natural level what God is on the supernatural. She feeds his soul that love which God has for Him in His nuturing sense. It's really cool when you think of it like that isn't it? So yes this spirit is in all of us, we just have to look hard enough to know it's there.
It's getting rather late and my back is starting to hurt so I want to put this tired puppy to bed. To quickly recap, I just want to say that we should all seek this childhood in whatever vocation we've been called to fulfill. We should all nurture this craving for the spirit of childhood since that's what I believe God wants of us. "Suffer not the little children to come to Me." That includes us! Lets not make ourselves the obstacle which prevents our true "inner child" from attaining it's longed for end, our Abba. Adesso, Finito. Allora, Ciao!

Jack the Nipper Has Been Caught!

Camden, NJ- Long sought Jack the Nipper was caught late last night in downtown Camden New Jersey after months of tireless search. Thousands of illegal packages of cat nip were found off Camden County's south end pier near 5th and Broad Street. Mass numbers of cats scattered in a moment of panic when officer K Nine unleashed their blackmarket rings of swindling cat nip, a nexus now spanning throughout the entire Delaware Valley region. Also arrested was guardian of the hub, infamous Black Cat dealer Annamese, number 2 on Camden County's list for America's most wanted. Both Jack and Annamese have been arrested and taken into veterinary custody for lifeterm sentence. Our streets are safe once again.

Good grief, is this what we're coming to? LOL :o

Attention Choral Singers

For those of you who sing in a choir or just like free stuff you may find my this post to your advantage. I happened upon an excellent web site which carries free sheet music for choirs and/or solo singers. It's worth checking out. To those of you who know me and sing with me, please look at this site; I'm tempted have a go with you both at another a cappella piece. Remember Christmas is coming and my brain is churning with those crazy ideas. Come on, let's be wild and sing polyphony! (Before I leave this state I'm determined to sing at least one piece by Palestrina for Father.) Doesn't everyone want to be like the people in this picture? What you all don't know is that my face is the one covered by that man's folder. He didn't want you to know I sang with the Cambridge Singers. It's my bogus secret; don't tell anyone. Enjoy....
.choral sheet music

Higher Education and the Quest of Gawain (Revised)

Scholastic studies. Are they really necessary? Maybe if that's what we were taught in today's classrooms. Ahh, what a penance it is for me to go to school. Hundreds of young adults are assigned into rooms of white washed walls, tile ceilings and neon lights to absorb the drivel that pours from our hailed professor's mouths. What's worst is that I recognize the brainwashing these professors are accomplishing which is effecting these impressionable intellects and is thus corrupting the future of our society. It makes me want to stand atop my desk and shout, "What hypocracy! How you claim to teach free thinking and tolerance to all thought expressions save to those who comes along and question your own false logic. Oh where now are those who preached the questioning of beliefs and behaviors? Why can we not now question those who impel us to accept immorality and encourage us to doubt all we believe to be sacred and true?" Sadly, I'm afraid if I ever found that gumption that my voice would go unheard and I'd be labeled a fanatic and get sentenced to campus counseling so my mind would be more attuned to the spirit of the school's environment. Shamefacedly however, I succumb to the pressures of our cultural norms and keep my mouth shut. Ugh!
I once heard a wise man say "the reason evil triumphs is because good men do nothing." How true, how true, and again how true. There is this sense of indifferentism which is diseasing our culture to the point that few there are who even recognize it exists. And to those who do, well, many of them have jumped the "nothing I do will make a difference" bandwagon. But in the meantime, our adversary is checkmating the entire world. Where are the pawns,the bishops,the knights? Is this fight to be fought by heaven forbid, the King himself? Where is our Sir Gawain? (Sir, who?)
Sir Gawain, the humble knight from the Arthurian legend of "Sir Gawain and the Green Knight." Excellent story, great moral. For those who don't know the plot-line I'll give you a brief interlude. The story involves the adventures of young Gawain, a knight and nephew of King Arthur, who is challenged by a monstrous Green Knight to cut off the monster's head and then meet him in one years time to have his own head cut off as well. Pure clean fun in Camelot, no? It does get better.Anyway, my reason for bringing this up is because of the plight it sets up for us. When the Green Knight first came to Arthur's court and challenged one of his knights to cut off his head, none dared to face him. Arthur eventually offered himself as the one to do the task which revealed the cowardice of his revered knights. But then arrived Gawain, who took the sword and sacrificed himself for the honor of his king. Seeing himself least among the knights due to his stature and ability, he became the prey of this curious beast and spared his king's reputation. Hail, good Sir Gawain!
I cite this tale because it reflects perfectly what I'm seeing happen to us as a culture. There is a monster (communism, modernism, indifferentism, pluralism, ecuminism, whateverism etc...) who wishes to challenge us in our loyalty to our God and King. Is there one who is willing to take the risk to say or do something to protect the honor due to our king, the King of Heaven, by showing this monster for what he truly is? Are we armed and ready to fight this deceitful foe who wants to tell us nothing we do will matter? Are we willing to meet him anywhere, be it at a Starbucks, college classroom even in our own parishes? Haven't we had enough of the lies that fill the innocent minds of people around the world who deserve a right to the truth? Though Gawain never existed his ideal does and for those who are ready to join in that quest we must be there to take up our arms and fight for that King and defend that Truth until that Green Knight's head we too shall claim.
(Please note, I am not advocating manslaughter or anything that even resembles it. The point I want to make is that people should try and do something, be it spiritual or otherwise, to help fight the evil one who is ravaging our lands. Not everyone is a St. Vincent Ferrare, I'm not, but that doesn't mean we can't be that sign of contradiction in our simple little everyday lives and speak by our example. However, if God does give us the grace to speak with prudence, wisdom and charity to someone you see being mislead then we must approach them. We must try to lead them towards Truth. This is what I when I speak of my quest. I hope that clears things up. Now by George it's late! Time to go to bed. Buona Notte!)

Chivalry's End

Does this image not represent what every true woman in her heart desires; i.e. to find that unknown love whom she has always known though has never met? Oh, for a girl to find a man to satisfy that hunger that tortures her heart is most difficult in our day. For a woman's heart craves a union of persons, not just the flesh. Yet how many men seek to attain that higher love? How beauteous it is to imagine having a love where the heart needn't fear to forfeit itself to its beloved. Where the soul can bloom as the lilies in spring and pour forth its chaste love to the one whom it desires.
I post this picture because in it I see much of what real women desire. Let me first lay out what it is I see within the fibers of this canvas. First, I see a virgin maid arrayed in the fine garments of modest purity. She seems to have been waiting for her true love to come and take her heart for his own. And there too is he whom her heart longeth to behold, the chaste and noble knight who kneels wearily after having suffered great trials to finally meet and beg her for her love and thus exchange his heart and soul for hers. Though the picture is a still shot, I imagine he further asks that she permit him to escort her to his humble kingdom where they can joyously share their love together until the end of their days. She brightly smiles and graciously permits his request. He then gently takes her hand and with the purest affection, kisses her softly to thus consecrate himself to that love which she alone will claim.
This image, this dream, this love...must women only hope for such love in the tales of romantic chivalry? My heart tells me no. Yes, the hearts of men and women are different, but not so much so that they both do not desire the aforementioned love. I argue that the problem of today is that neither men and women care to listen to their hearts long enough to hear it tell them that indeed, it does want this ideal. It does want the higher love which suffers in waiting for that spouse and which loves not the flesh but the virtue found shining through the instrument of the body. If the media didn't drown the consciences' of people with its deluge of immorality seen at every turn, then I believe that the expectations from of old would eventually return to us. Chivalry's ideal should not be for the antiquarian, but for the contemporarian. To return to this however, society must fight like the knight to protect itself from the enemy which slips quietly into the soul through sin. Watch and pray for we do not the hour when he will approach, we must forever be vigil. Once this is accomplished in us, then we can rid this world of the lie that sin is good and good is whatever you want it to be. And then will the voice of true and pure love shout again to call those who will hear her voice.
In closing, some thoughts for my fellow maidens and knights.
Dear maidens, do not sell yourselves for less than you're worth. Listen not to the lie of the traitorous demon who flatters you with his vile, venomous tongue. Forget not what he did to our first mother Eve. He still desires to seduce our minds, for he knows the power of a virtuous woman and the influence she has in molding the hearts of men and from men the world. Hold close then your pearls, they are priceless and can never be regained once lost. Live as the virtuous maiden for you will receive that reward if you suffer to possess it. You will find that knight and you can attain that love.
Dear knights, though few women today know their worth and choose to squander their pearls, you must aspire to become the virtuous knight she truly seeks. Not enough women know that men can be more than a handsome face, strong arms and lustful lips. But you can be and you should be. To find a man who wants that nobler love is few and far between. How priceless you would be if found by her and she by you. The rewards of such a life satisfy more than the flesh, which even you may at times confess to desire. Be our protector, be our strength. You were made the stronger and wiser of the two sexes. Do not let your natural gifts fall upon vain activities when there are so many women who need you to guide them in their weakness and vulnerability. Take your natural right and use it for the purpose it was meant for and satisfy that nobler self.
Do knights still exist? Do holy virgins dwell in our adulterated land? Yes they do, they are in you and me, but we have to make them live, we need to make them known. Their voices are hard to be heard and but if we listen long enough we will hear them cry to us. Let us then join them and make ourselves into the persons we were made to be. Thus will we preserve our race by preserving that holy love which waits pure and chaste from afar and verily will we come to find that one love who will take us to that higher love in that humble kingdom. To chivalry's end we go...

The Insane Genius

I recently finished watching the film "A Beautiful Mind" ,the story of Nobel Prize winner John Nash, and had a thought cross my mind which I wanted to put out for others to consider. I'd like to preface my question however, by saying that I did like the movie, some serious blasphemy could have been negated, but nevertheless the story was intriguing, not to mention that the musical score carried me to the moon. God bless James Horner, he takes me places no man ever has. But I digress. The question that struck me was this: Is there a correlation between natural genius and insanity?
Pondering upon this question, I have to say I believe the barrier that separates the former from the latter is not fortuitous. To be able to work up theories and mathematical equations which run volumes long requires a certain kind of cerebral madness which boarders upon insanity. Don't misunderstand this point; I do not mean to say that all men of genius are mad, but that they have great potential for madness if they do not recreate their minds upon the simple and mundane or if they do not live in the state of sanctifying grace. Leaving anything that complex to itself can only end in destructive madness, save through the grace of God.(My thanks to Claudio Salvucci for clarifying this point).
But there also exists another point to consider. Imagine possessing the kind of mind that sees mathematical figures in all that is seen or in getting pleasure by doing nothing but solving problems, be they in "Myst" video games, 30,000 piece puzzles or looking at Time Life magazines to decode Russian threats regarding national annihilation (this is a reference to John Nash). This sort of mind if left alone would probably stay at any of these puzzles for hours on end. I know this to be true because I knew someone who stayed awake for 24 hours to complete the above mentioned video game. What is the remedy then to this man one may wonder? What could help him?Some might say he could use a drink maybe even two drinks, but I propose he aspire towards the often forgotten virtue of simplicity.
Simplicity is a virtue which this type of man should study. It makes one reflect on life without all the complexities and lightens the mind and heart by setting it upon that which is sometimes not seen by those men of genius, namely the beauty of life and of wonder it contains. If I had John Nash here with me tonight, I'd offer him a concept which I think would throw his mind into a tangled web of confusion, forcing him to wrestle with himself until he came my conclusion. This concept is a divine paradox, if you will, a great mystery to all men. God is perfect simplicity and absolute knowledge. Now go think...
The sad thing about the situation with John Nash is that I know someone who knew a man very much like him; not in his personality but in his mentality. He was a man so brilliant that you would swear everything he said was dogma. His mind was as fine as a sharpened sword and just as deadly. He would analyze and deduce every action you'd make, every word you'd say and then expect you to tell him why you said something or did something or didn't do or say something and how all of this meant something else which you never intended. Knowing this man for many years, this girl suffered terribly and has ever since. Her mind has fought to no longer live in his world of insanity which he convinced her was the only reality with all else being a lie. What would she say if she was asked this question of the insane genius? I wonder...
So who's to say there isn't a correlation between genius and insanity? Should any man dare say otherwise, I would challenge him with this... try asking what it's like for those living with such people. Or better, try living with such a person for yourself and see if you don't come to embrace my theory that the minds of the genius and insane are as close as night is to day at sunrise. For unless a genius be of impeccable virtue, he will end his days in mindless riddles which will lead him to no good end, and he'll only make others want to dissect their own minds to see if maybe they've lost their own through his.
Be thought-full but remember to KISS, keep it simple stupid!
Nota Bene...John Nash also suffered from severe schizophrenia which I believe was a case of diabolic possession, but that's a whole different topic which I do not have the time to discuss. Until then... Ciao!

In Man do We Trust?

Tonight I feel inspired to speak on the subject of trust.
To begin, it first needs to be said that no man of himself is worthy of trust. Myself included. This is a virtue which man must prove he possesses; it cannot be assumed. "Put not your trust in princes, Nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help" Psalm 146:3. Regrettably, this hard lesson too many learn through bitter experience. Yet one is pressed to ask, must it be this way? Must man be so precarious a creature that he ought to be tested before he is deemed worthy of love and confidentiality? Let us go back and look to the past for our answer.
From the beginning, God made man and he was good. And the woman who came from him was also good. But Evil came to tempt them in their love for God, and in failing to love Him through disobedience, a breach was set between them. Through this rift man and woman came to know the fruit of this disobedience, i.e. suffering. They betrayed both God, themselves and eachother and hid themselves as a byproduct of this reality. He no longer trusted her and she no longer trusted him. Original sin now scared the entire human race due to this act of infidelity. The question now begs, does there exist a hope for the restoration of that unity between the sexes? Will they ever find that trust again? The answer to this question is two fold.
The first half of the answer requires the mentioning of Christ. Christ came into the world to restore His people to the state of sanctifying grace through His death and resurrection. He alone enabled man to regain the potential for perfection and strive after union with its God, which up to this point in human history was impossible. He healed the wound of division between man and God and consequentially, man and woman could again possess that love which was lost through that original sin. But this manner of love can only be had when the love of God is the unitive source between two people. Perhaps an analogy might serve to prove my point. Think of it like this. Man and woman together can play a cord on the piano called life. Yet which notes to play they do not know since they are not the composer but the notes themselves. Without the "divine" composer the two notes are left silent, or else, in their trying to find another to write their song, they result in making nothing but a ridiculous racket. Only the one who knows music can order the cords according to their function. And appropriately, through him the notes create a most beautiful harmony, which only he could have created. Would not eveyone want to go to the maker of music to become the symphony they were made for? God is our divine composer and if we want to find that cord in our life with another, we must turn to Him to find it.
Secondly, though a trust between man and woman be possible, there are points of concern that should be noted. Yes, one may find that person with whom they can trust, but it cannot be emphansized enough, that even they too may occasionally fail us in times of need. In fact, I believe it is imperative that this be true in a relationship. Let me explain why. It's essential that we remember man is not God and will not always be there. He may die or he may leave us out of necessity, out of no will of his own. This is meant to remind us that we are not made for man, but for God. Trust should ultimately then only rest in Him because, in the end, He alone will be there when all others are gone.
Ergo Dico Vobis...
"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven. For where your treasure lies, there will your heart also be." (Matt 6.) Where your treasure, your heart, your love, your trust lies, there you will be. Be careful then, not to give that gift of your trust but to those who have first given their's to Christ, for only then is that trust truly secured since it's fulfillment is not expected here but is awaited in the refuge of eternity, where man and woman can again share that love which was lost and which through Christ no one can take from them.
Therefore in answering the hard question "Must man be so precarious a creature that he ought to be tested before he is deemed worthy of love and confidentiality?" In all simplicity yes. But do not let this truth deter you from giving your love to another because this life is meant to teach us, and if we take risks and love another, while simultaneously planting our trust firmly in God, then we can hope that whatever happens to us will happen to us for our good, for to those who love (or trust) God, all things work unto good. Be not afraid et Ite cum Deo....

Primo Parola

Well, here I am. My first attempt to be technologically savvy. I feel so 21st century for the first time in my life! What a quantum leap for me. Why do I say that, because for years now I haven't quite lived in the modern swing of things and with no regrets. It just doesn't seem necessary to have all that we have and yet not be able to communicate well with the person sitting right next to us. Per example, I am a student at a highly liberal and communistic university; I will call this school Roman University for it is not far from resembling the culture of pagan Rome. And at Roman U. I sometimes sit outside to get some fresh air. Scoping the landscape I typically see two things: people either gabbing to the cell phones glued to their ears or people walking to their classes speaking only with the person they're walking with or with no one at all. Why is this so? I believe that it is a caustic consequence of living in the age of the machine. For the sake of experimentation, I would love to test to see what would happen if I sat and cried to myself on the campus park bench at the peak of noon when many students walk across campus to attend their next class. Through my own learned experiences, I would assume that probably no one would come over to ask me if I was alright. And yet , do we not say to ourselves when asked to reach out to others "I show concern for my fellow man? I forked over two dollars for relief funds and gave my clothes away to the Salvation Army. I've fulfilled my humanitarian duty and I feel good about myself as a human person. What more do I owe anyone. Now leave me alone." What rubbish! This is partly why I abhor the idea of attaining a cell phone or of even using so many modern conveniences to get me by in life. It not only desensitizes us, making basic human contact burdensome, but it also make us lazy . Take for example my microwave oven. Why can't I wait for something to be made using a stovetop? Or better yet, why can't I make something from scratch? Doesn't everyone love food made with care and quality? I do. The elements of effort, creativity and patience have been so forsaken by our convenienced culture that we've engendered a nation infected with a "give me, now go" mentality. This I declare, will leave us in a state of madness when one day the power goes out and this nation, like the city of New Orleans, is left to survive without that which people now consider to be as important air, this being electricity. On that day, when man is left to venge for himself and remembers what it is to live off the land, will he also remember, God and learn that in Him alone must man rely. I pray that this day soon will come and that when it does my human cell phone, along with all of humanities, will ring off the hook. God speed us.