New Year's Reflections in Virginia

Good evening y'all. I write you this post from my old home town of Fairfax,Virginia and my goodness, how the memories are flooding into my mind. And as they do I hear my favorite radio station (Classical 103.5) playing one of my favorite pieces by Beethoven, his 7th symphony. I can't believe it! You know, it is the little stuff that touches my heart so dearly. It's so moving to hear the flutes play daintily with the brass trumpets and violins. It's most haunting!! Don't call me crazy but I think God speaks to me through music. Music reaches something in my soul like nothing else does except maybe one thing which I will go unnamed. Oh, how I hear Him tonight. My heart is melting with emotion and I wish I had someone here to share this with. But since I have no one, I thought I'd invite the cyber world to enjoy it with me. So thanks to those of you who are here reading my insignificant thoughts. I know this means nothing to you but it means so much to me knowing that I am semi-sharing what is happening inside of me with you. You may be asking yourself "Is this life so lonely for some that they must resort to an electrical journal for comfort?" Yes, but that's okay. I'd rather that than go crazy by having this feeling built up in me and cause me such frustration that I have to scream. I like to scream- not too loud, just high pitched. It's so much fun. Try it especially if you like to sing. It's a great way to open up your vocal cords. I'm serious by the way. I do this before I sing for anything. It's a professional singer's secret. Moving on though, I have had a most unusual day. For one thing, I spent my afternoon having lunch with my old boyfriend from high school and afterwards traveling down roads I have not navigated in almost six years. My favorite road, Route 66 (well, not really but it's an easy road to drive on and I know it like the back of my hand) was one I found myself on today. I love driving on it as the sun sets behind the majestic mountains called the Blue Ridge. They are so regal, so blue(my favorite color). They are what I call Our Lady's mountains. Once did I drive through them. It was a drive I'll never forget. I love to drive alone around here. When I was in high school I would drive down roads and just drive without stopping not knowing where I was or to where I was going. Those were moments of great contemplation. Now I drive to nowhere and to nowhere fast being that I live in the worst part of NJ, yet this, I'm hoping, is to soon to change. I miss and love the country. It has everything a melancholic girl like myself could want. There is so much to think about, so much to see, so much move the heart and inspire one to dream. I pray God puts me somewhere out in the hills or mountains. They make it so easy to pray.
Before I wrap up this rather informal post I do wish to say a few last things. Yes, I miss VA, I miss the mountains,I miss people I no longer see, however I cannot allow myself to get too attached to any person, place or thing which I meet with upon my brief stay on this planet- none of us can. This world is passing and is one which we must be in yet not of. Nothing should divert our hearts or minds away from getting to that one place we should so long to go to, Heaven. I spoke to a priest in confession today about my life and he gave me some excellent advice. He said if you want to get to Heaven quickly, do well whatever it is God wants of you, and suffer it with love and in a short while He will take you home. He warned me that it is to those people who begrudgingly do whatever it is He asks of them who stay longer. So tonight as I conclude a truly memorable 2005, I have decided upon my new year's resolution... it is to do everything God wishes I do and suffer anything that hurts my heart or breaks my will so that He will soon take me to Himself and allow me to love Him forever in eternity. I pray this happens to me and I pray it happen soon. No I'm not in despair, I simply long for eternity. So Lord, make me ready and make me ready as quickly as possible for I want so much to be with you and to be in a place where I will never have to say goodbye again. (Wouldn't that be nice?)
A blessed new year to y'all. Please say a prayer for me that I get home safe. God keep you safe and close to His Heart Sacred Heart. Buone Anne!

Hope on the Homefront

The above mentioned blog had this interesting news to tell.

"Friday, December 30, 2005
Benedict prepares the Holy Revolution
The Italian newsweekly Panorama has a very interesting prognosis of the major events of 2006 in the Roman Curia in its last edition (with the same title as the one chosen for this post).

The main points of the article:

FIRST, after eight months, Pope Benedict has filled only two positions with his men: CDF Prefect, vacated for obvious reasons; and the Secretary for Divine Worship, who was picked because he was needed to "continue the dialogue with the traditionalist Catholics" (Panorama's words).

SECOND, and this has been well known for a few months, the Holy Father has chosen Angelo Comastri (currently Vicar of the Pope for the Vatican City) as his head-planner for a major restructuring of the Curia.

THIRD, Comastri would replace Cardinal Castrillón Hoyos as Prefect of Clergy.

FOURTH, freed from his duties at Clergy, Cardinal Castrillón Hoyos (who is past his age limit) would remain solely in charge of Ecclesia Dei issues (that is, relations with all traditional Catholics).

FIFTH, Abp. Piero Marini would be called to replace Abp. Comastri in his current positions, freeing the office of pontifical liturgies.

SIXTH, Marini would be replaced by his second, Francesco Camaldo, who is allegedly a favorite of the Pope.

SEVENTH, Cardinal Sepe would be trasferred from Propaganda (Evangelization) to Cardinal Szoka's current position as President of the Governatorate of the Holy See.

EIGHTH, Cardinal Dias (Bombay, India) would replace Cardinal Sepe as prefect of Propaganda.

In other changes, the Prefect of Apostolic Signatura would be transferred to Naples (as archbishop).

The article ends by reminding the readers that NOBODY is currently in a position that may influence the Pope's decision. Every one of the decisions will be solely his (differently, I might add, from what happened throughout the Wojtyla pontificate, as is public knowledge)."

Let's keep praying this Pope keeps things going in the right direction.
Viva la Papa!

Faith and...

Last week my brother, mother and I went to the Italian market in Philadelphia with the sole intention of finding Limonce Panettone. We walked for hours in our hunt to discover where this hidden treasure was buried. And alas, good St. Anthony led us to it as it was found at his very own Italian cafe at the end of the ally. FYI, the market is found between Christian and 9th should anyone be interested in going. This place was so Italian I felt that I was really in Italy. Being that I returned from the ancient city of Roma just last month, I knew what it was to be at an authentic Italian market and let me tell you, it wasn't too far from home. The culture of this area was something I've never felt before in this country. It made me feel like I belonged there. It was like being home in a way. My "people" were there. When I think about it, this sense, this feeling is what I believe most people of my generation regretfully have never felt. We all want to know our heritage, our ancestors, where we came from, and yet we in America are not encouraged to keep our European traditions alive. We've lost so much of who and what we came from. We are all American. But what in the heck does that mean? No one can really answer that and I think it's because we have a basis on nothing substantially solid. We have nothing to unite us aside from a false "liberty" that gives us warm fuzzies yet never manifests when it comes to havingn to pay exorbitant property taxes and health insurance bills. But I digress...
Oh, how I wish we returned to the old ways of our ethnic cultures. I miss my Italian heritage. I miss hearing the accordion, seeing women work at preparing for home-made pasta while wearing those precious knee-length dresses with their tattered hair pinned up into a bun. On a side note, these were real women I can assure you. They knew what it was to work and to work hard. To all those feminists who say that women we like dolls in a "doll house" take a look at the lives of these women, take a good look at what these valiant women endured on a daily basis-it will put you to shame. Oh those women make me crazy. They do nothing but complain about things they know nothing about. But I digress again. I miss the vegetable gardens with the five foot high tomato vines and the summer canning parties full of sweat, tears and cut thumbs. But how can I get it back? Why did we lose these happy memories?
In my days of meandering about this orb of existence, I see people my age and younger walking around with nothing to give themselves to, nothing to define themselves as. They want to belong, but to what? They want to support something, but what? And with this question comes an answer that will not surprise anyone with common sense. I think that if we had ever kept our cultural roots, that the rise in child violence, drug abuse and suicide would not be so high. Why do children resort to these habits and behaviors? Because they are starving for something which they are not getting and which they do not know. They want to be part of a family, of a community. They want both a spiritual and a physical family to love and to fight for. Faith in the end is what they seek though they would die before they ever admitted this. But observe that those cultures that had a great sense of cultural identity usually had a strong faith. This importance of having a culture worked hand in hand with a person's religious beliefs. Most every western culture had traditions revolving around their faith. The faith was what made many of their traditions; it was what made culture come to life in a sense. Perhaps this desire for a world of faith is the answer to retrieving this world of culture. I believe that as truth and beauty come part and parcel, so too do faith and culture. So may we find our faith and through it our heritage and may be bring back the beauty of our ancient people's so that their faith in God and their love of culture be not in vain.

Should anyone be interested in finding an excellent Italian bakery check out Isgros. We stumbled upon this bakery in our journey through the city and how happy I am we did. They make some of the country's best cannolis and pinniolis. I highly recommend you try them. Buon Appetito. Ciao

Hope of Christ, Espouse Me

For all of those who suffer or who know the pain of feeling your heart ache in agony or who feel there is no hope in this wretched world, listen to the words I have posted below. Know that I commiserate with you should you be feeling such things, for I too know what it is to have a heart that is broken and I know what it is to want to despair. Yet, we must believe that there is a God who is aiding us in these hours of grief, otherwise, all that Christ suffered and died for was in vain. And this cannot be so. Our lesson then is this- to keep your eyes on our goal; we mustn't lose the sight of Him whom we must strive to imitate and to love. He knows us; He knows our hearts and He sees our tears. But every good Father must discipline those whom He loves. And every good doctor must hurt his patient in order to heal him. God is our Father, God is our Divine doctor. He does all with love. Believe this, just keep going and hope...he who perseveres shall gain eternal life.

"The Everlasting God has in His wisdom foreseen from eternity the cross He now presents to you as a gift from His inmost Heart. This cross He now sends you He has considered with His all-knowing eyes, understood with His divine mind, tested with His wise justice, warmed with loving arms and weighed with His own Hands, to see that it be not one inch too large and not one once too heavy for you. He has blessed it with His Holy Name, anointed it with His grace, perfumed it with His consolation, taken one last glance at you and your courage, and then sent it to you from heaven, a special greeting from God to you, an alms of the all-merciful love of God."
St. Francis de Sales

Prepare Ye the Way for Our Lady

This here is an image long forgot by many people's of our day. It is an image of the Blessed Mother as she prepares to give birth to the Son of God. How sweet she looks all swollen with Child. Yes, she carried the Christ Child in her womb, not a nine month old fetus. While we have these last few days to prepare for Christmas, let's do so by giving ourselves over to Him whom the Heavens could not contain; to Him who humbled Himself, assuming the form of weak and sinful man. As He found Himself well pleased to come to us only through the most Immaculate Virgin Mary, may we then go to Him through her, and ask her to permit us to hold her slumbering Infant Jesus in our own hearts as we receive Him in Holy Communion. We must shut the door of the world in our hearts if we are to open it to this Sacred Babe. "Lully Lullay thou little tiny child. Bye bye lully lullay." Sing a song to Him in your heart and comfort Him as He suffers from those who hate and mock His holy Love. What better gift to give Him than our very selves this Christmas. Throw off the shackles of secularism and ascend to the divine creche at the throne of Mary's pure and tender heart. Dear Lady of the Expectation, pray for us and bring us ever closer to this Son whom we, through you, greatly await.
Grazie mille Maria por mia bene esame!

Vigilate et Orate

It's funny when you think about the similarities between the spiritual and the physical realities. They really parallel each other. For example, as the germs in the air are always present to us, so too are the snares of the devil. Yet by God's divine providence and great mercy we have our inner immune systems to help fight off the onset of physical sickness along with the help of the sacraments and the intercession of the Saints in Heaven to protect us from falling into the pits of sin. However, because of the fall of our first parents, man will never be free from the attack of either of these enemies. Germs for example never stop "germ"inating. They keep regenerating into new forms. They are perpetually generating new unknown means of infiltrating into our bodies much like the devils forever seek to infiltrate our souls. Regardless of our precautionary efforts, these enemies will forever seek to creep into us; in one sense it's how they keep themselves alive. They are always ready and watching. But are we?
While we're on the topic of disease and its attack on the body, I thought I might mention this bird flu everyone is talking about. My geography professor recently stated that he heard scientists say it's not a matter of if but when the flu will become a universal air born pandemic. Is this not a what a wake up call to mankind? Now before we join the rest of society in readying ourselves for assisted suicide, we must try and see this through the eyes of the soul. First, remember that all things happen for a reason. God does not permit or will anything unless it is for some good. Second, every man must one day die. There shall come a day of judgment for each and every one of us, where we will face God and give an accounting for our life. We may find death in bed, at the hand of an illness, by bloodshed, fire, water, shark, poison, etc. etc. There are a hundred ways we might find death and the bird flu is just one of many. But death, though terrifying, should not be as frightening as we make it out to be. The Saints longed for death. St. Francis called death "Sister Death." That was how familiar he wanted to be with it. It was a friend to him because he believed that death was the portal through which he would meet the One Whom he desired to see. This being the Holy Trinity. The reason why so many people are afraid of this flu is because they are afraid to die and they are afraid to die because they do not know God. So many people live morally sinful lifestyles which they tell themselves is acceptable but which I believe they know to be bad. Subconsciously they know they are wrong because for one thing, they are not happy people, and when confronted with the thought of death, their consciences are so pricked that they have to fight to hide themselves by either running to a pill or bottle or paying some psychiatrist to tell them everything will be fine. But none of these band-aids are ever going to give these people what they seek. Only Christ can offer them that gift of peace which He alone owns. And how stupid we are to not go to Him for it. He is so generous with His gifts and yet we refuse Him when He extends them to us. But why are we so obtuse? Because we don't want to suffer the loss of who we think we are and become a new man, a happier man, a holier man. We are happy in our misery though we really aren't.
Our God is an awesome God. He is so creative (that's a major understatement). Because He is so creative and because He knows His creatures so well, being that He made them, He best knows what would motivate them into returning to Him. Only God could set up a situation where all of mankind was at such a risk of death. Now I cannot say whether this flu is God's absolute or permissive will, it doesn't really matter, but what I can say is that God knows what is best for us. Regardless, God wants to use it to bring us back to our senses and to bring us back to Him. Because God loves us, He will allow something that man cannot cure to threaten the whole of humanity. But this is for good reason. If man is scared enough by the thought of death then perhaps he will return his prayers, begin going to mass, make a good sacramental confession and amend his life so that he will always be ready for death whenever and however it might meet him.
In a way I hope this flu does spread so it slaps people hard enough in the face to humble them before God before they lose their souls forever in hell. Though this might sound hateful, I can assure you it is not. Real love (or charity; no I'm not a modernist) wants what's best for the a person's soul more than his body. But note, this doesn't deny a man's wanting the health and happiness of another man's body. It only means it isn't the priority of the two parts. Take for example when you say "I you love." You do not mean you love only their body, you love both their body and their soul. The two are essential in making that person who they are. So because there are two elements involved in the existence of man, body and soul, we must want what is best for both but more importantly the soul over the body since the body will die but the soul will go on to eternity where the body will become the food for worms until the Last Judgment. If a person has to get sick in order to learn that he needs to change his life and make reparation for his sins, then may everyone get sick. Do you see my point? The body is the temple God gave us to assist us in getting to Heaven and the soul is the ruler of this body. It is therefore in the soul that our very person exists. Thus the soul's health takes precedence over the body's since it is in the soul that the body is lead. If you saw a very holy sick person sitting next to a very evil healthy people, who would you say was healthier? I would say the former because the importance lies within not without.
It's time to wake up humanity. It's time to destroy the false idols of self which we've carved into our beings. It's time to smash the lies of false religion and moral relativism which are infecting our world far worse than the bird flu. Let us begin by returning to the practice of Catholicism which means the practicing of the sacraments. We are in a battle both spiritual and germinal (not a real word). Let us not put our heads in the sand by ignoring these truths that threaten us, but instead, may we me ready for them by being holy and by doing our moral and religious duties. And if one day one of these enemies should find us, may God come to our assistance for He surely will to those who have sought His Love. Remember.... Watch ye and pray, for you know not when the lord of the house cometh (Mark 13:33-35)

My Brief Sabbatical

To those who are reading my blog I ask you to please remember my in your prayer as I have a killer final on Tuesday in British Literature which I am not looking forward to. Grazie Mille! And Deo Gratias, thus far I've received two A's for the semester: one in Public Speaking (a minor miracle) and one in Geography and hopefully another on the way in Logic. Surprisingly, my Logic final was a challenge. I was even the last to finish the test. There we were, Fleeger and myself. He stood there pensively waiting for me to finish so he could go celebrate his 36th birthday at his favorite south Philly bar. I didn't care that I was the only one left; we had another hour and twenty minutes left in the period. I take my time, what can I say. I did study for the exam, but there were bizarre questions on it which I was not expecting. Why do teachers have to throw in asinine questions that are hardly discussed in class? Blast them! For example, Plato's "Gyges Ring." We discussed that for maybe a span of seven seconds. Good heavens Fleeger, what a stretch. And Fleeger, by the way, I have it on good authority (thank you FS) that St. Augustine did not say that evil does not exist; yes, man's ability to choose evil is impossible but not because evil does not exist, rather because man is incapable of choosing that which is evil for evils sake. He can choose evil but he chooses it as a form of relative good. This is not to say that evil is least form of good. Evil cannot exist without good but it is not a part of good, it is the absence of it. There is a difference. I didn't think that Augustine would be so false. No offense, but I suggest you not teach this information again until you receive a proper Thomistic theology course, and I don't mean one taught by a Jesuit, not unless he follows the Church prior to 1968. One day when you are a Catholic you'll understand why I say this.
Well, I am forcing my eyes to stay open so it's time for me to ten,four. Until I next resume living, i.e. once I've completed the semester, I want to wish everyone a very blessed Christmas. Please savor every day of it. What? Didn't you know? Christmas is 12 days long. God knows how to have a party, doesn't He? So enjoy it and enjoy it the way He intended. I will be in touch soon. God speed you all and keep you warm. Just think, spring is only three months away! Oh, I can smell the mimosa trees now.
OH, one last note... Congratulations to Nick Beck and Mary Heffernan on their engagement. What a beautiful couple you two will become. May the Holy Family bless you both.

A Bride of Christ

By J. Corson Miller

Her childhood-years were gay and bright,
As many children's are;
Within her heart she kept a light
Brave-burning, as a star.
With Dawn she laughed, and knew the Night
For magic dreams afar.

In maidenhood she grew apace
With Beauty sweet as Heaven;
There was a glory on her face,
Like roses hushed at even.
She lost not sanctifying grace,
Her virtues, they were seven.

And nightly 'round her hallowed bed
The Angels came to sing;
Unknown, they wove about her head
A mystic bridal-ring.
"Her innocence, for veil," they said,
"She wears, to greet her King."

And one spoke: "See, her hands, how still
They lie upon her breast!
From her dear brow we shall distill,
For Virgin-Mary blest,
A lily-bloom whose incense will
Give some poor sinner rest."

Nay, Womanhood was not for her,
Where Sin and Sorrow 'bide;
She who was long God's chorister,
Gladly took Death for guide.
The day she left, He came for her,
With Love Divine aflame for her--
The Bridegroom for His Bride.

(Source: The Catholic World, October, 1920.)

What a beautiful sentiment this poem depicts. While I would love to delve into this refreshing pool of poetic thought and describe the sweet images this poem paints for me, I think sometimes it's better if I say nothing and let the thoughts you conceive carry your heart to wherever you find it calls you. To wherever that place may be, know that mine is not too far away; I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

To all the virgins of His throne,
In purity His Heart you own.
For all the girls who seek Him thus,
We beg you so, please pray for us.

Santa Gemma, te amo.