Wow, I feel as though returning to this blog I am revisiting an old room I once lived in and yet long to return to and sit and peruse through the pages of entries and just reminisce upon the many places I have been since I was last within its walls. I must admit that although I have these feelings currently, I had been absenting this blog deliberately, why I cannot quite explain, but it will suffice to say that I felt its call long enough and am now here to revivify it once again. I am forcing myself to sit down and write about something, anything, I just need to write! Now what about? Well, I have since been married, am expecting my first baby, have moved to another state, am a stay at home wife and am going absolutely crazy with boredom! And that's all I wrote and have no idea why.
I'll leave it at that, because I never did get back to writing this blog entry until today, which is three years later. Briefly, I survived a hellish beginning of much rushed into marriage, and God be praised I did as I am stronger person for it. Gray hairs abound, but that's what fighting vanity is all about, right? I wish I had written more at the time since I think it would have helped me melt the interior walls that I built around me at that time and that have only recently begun to fall.
Anyway, the point I want to make is that it's never advisable to do anything out of guilt or pity for another person, esp getting married. Take this advice and never settle, not for anything. Your life will be much better for it.
This is not a post to rant on about the woes of married life because it can be beautiful, but not always. For those who like myself are not in a happy marriage, here is one comforting thought to remember -- if you look back at the lives of married saints, most of them were in bad marriages as well. And what does that teach us? That although life is hard and you just want to run away from that person and never look back, that they are an instrument of God and can lead you ever closer to that eternal paradise where no tears fall and where sadness dissipates like the morning dew of spring. Take comfort in your sorrows for you know that this burden is a weight meant to lift you higher and not to taken you down. You can get terribly distracted and emotionally bruised if you don't keep this in mind when you're suffering so take heart and know that you are not alone, and that God is with you, even in those most frightful of moments.
