Preview for "The paradox of pain"

My life has again flipped upside down and I am now no longer a Jersey girl. Praise be Jesus! There is so much I would love to write about, so much that my mind is thinking and my heart is feeling about the pains I have been through and the joys I have had but I cannot now go into detail as I have to make dinner and study for phun phun physics. God help me. Anyhow, I feel like this blog is a thing of the past though I hope to soon change that. I will have to see whether I can keep up between studies, working etc. For now though, here is a little paradox for you to contemplate until I return again. Think long and hard about what it is saying. It is something we all can learn so much from if we consider the truth it contains. Happy dwelling...
"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”
~Mother Theresa.
P.S. This title of this post is a preview for a future post I intend to write. I think the theme is one worth my sacrificing a Friday night over. Please check back again.

Yes, Virginia, Anne is alive.

My heavens it has been some time since I've been on this thing. To all those faithful readers of mine who have been pining for my return I do apologize for my prolonged absence. School is school and being the obsessive perfectionist that I am, have not had much time to create blogs for you to feast upon. Je suis desole.
Now to move onto bigger and better topics...
The picture I've posted was taken about three weeks ago. My sister finally had her USA reception and thus her wedding is offically over. I don't mean to sound like the party pooper, but it was a lot of stress waiting for this event so now it's said and done and life can continue on. Hmmm, what to write about? It's amazing how challenging it is for me to jump back into writing after it's been months since I've done so. However, I think that writing is healthy and that, like public speaking or carrying conversation, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. So bare with me as this blog is a transitional piece and thus will not be of anything too thought provoking since to tell the truth, my mind has been lost in this silly environmental Biology class I'm taking (which, in truth, isn't that boring, just tough) not to mention preparing to leave for school. Yes, NJ, I am soon to leave you, but do not be saddened, I will return to grace you with my presence on occasion. But anyway, I am taking two summer courses to try and hack down my credits. The more I get the merrier I am and the closer I get to returning to that which I wish to pursue,i.e. my dream of writing Catholic children's stories and Catholic periodicals for the promotion of the Latin mass. If I may digress for a moment... It amazes me what a person has to go through the be considered qualified for a job these days. A degree is no longer enough for companies to look at you or think you competent. Sorry SMN. I hear that many businesses want a Masters as a minimum if you hope to compete for a nice position. Now me, I don't see myself ever being stuck in that position in life. I pray I'm never stuck in an office, staring at a computer screen and falling into those periods of boredom "funk" that I've found myself frequently in at my present job. I pray that in five years I am either married with children, in a convent, or teaching children in a little private Catholic school that promotes orthodox Catholic teachings and traditions. I shall wait and see what the good God has planned for me. It's something I pray about a lot now. You know, I am soon to be 26 and though everyone tells me that's young, it really isn't. I think to myself, what in the world have you done in 26 years? What do I plan on doing with the time I still have left on this planet? As for now, I am moving out of the area and finishing school elsewhere, thanks be to God, which I hope will lead me closer towards knowing my vocation and finally fulfilling it. I have two years to finish school and then we shall see. So for all you people in the world who feel you are the only one that doesn't know where you're life is headed and feel that you've done nothing with your life, be comforted and know you are not alone. I am with you. Now I must head off to say the 3 o'clock rosary and then prepare for my incredible job at HM. I shall return to you again soon, I promise and hopefully will have something more interesting to discuss. I'm thinking, the concepts of molecular biology and the mind of God. How's that for being simple?! Ta ta for now mes amies.

The Brief Commentary

Here it is, the little commentary I promised. These are only my thoughts so weigh them for what that's worth.
Okay, first I think this poem is about a couple who is having a very difficult time communicating with each other. Matthew explains why this is so and further offers the remedy. He opens with the couple after they have quarreled. The speaker is crying and says to the other, "Please be honest with me, speak to me, though not in words but with your eyes. Let me drink of your love as I look into your soul." In other words, words are cheap and smiles can lie, but the eye is the channel of one's soul. It is there that man is seen for what he is. Next he asks "Is love so weak that it cannot express itself? Are even lovers unable to speak from the depths of their love?" How is this so? Open your mouth, take off the shackles of fear that prevent you from being who are. Do not become so distracted by the world and all its responsibilities to forget that you have a soul that needs and wants something which the world cannot give. "Lips unchained"-- this is the cure but how does one extricate these inner bonds? Through finding love which is found through discovering this inner "stream" that runs deep in the hearts of men. In my interpretation this could refer to sanctifying grace. So let this living stream of heavenly dew come and vivify your heart. Cast off the chains of worldly expectations and embrace the life of love that is ebbing in your soul. So few there are who care enough to pursue this living stream which they taste in moments of curiosity though only for a passing fancy. There are "nameless feelings" forever unexpressed that burn in the hearts of men yet they are not able to be expressed in truth because they are not pure, as they are not united with the cooling streams of living waters that make all things true. But what then is there that can save men from abandoning this inner grace, this inner calling to a deeper purer love? Through touching the hand of one who possesses this love; by catching the sight of another whose eyes reveal the beauty and the power and the love this buried stream of living love contains. In finding this love, one sees oneself and it is then that the eyes of men (or women) roll back into their soul to seek this stream for himself so that he too can share in the love which he sees beaming through the eyes of this other. Now he can speak, now he can love, now he can know what it is to live. What he means he says and what he now knows he can now share. Here this man has found himself, has found his love and has lost his chains. The inner streams of grace and love comforts his heart for alas he has found the meaning of existence and the way which leads to eternal happiness, which all can be found through the eyes of God's pure creatures.
Alright, now I do think there is more to be said but it is getting late and I have to return to the grind tomorrow which means go to bed. For now this will have to do. In closing I want to wish everyone a blessed Passion Sunday. I wish you could all be here to partake in Mater Ecclesiae's liturgy, it is most divine. We'll just keep praying things progress in Rome and maybe one day the full liturgical Triduum won't be an exception but a rule. Ciao...

La Vie Enterrée: The Buried Life ...of Love

C'est quelque chose pour vous lire. J'aime ca beaucoup et j'espere tu aime ca aussi. Penser qu'il signifie, c'est tres profond et tres beau. Bon lecture mon ami...


Light flows our war of mocking words, and yet,
Behold, with tears mine eyes are wet!
I feel a nameless sadness o'er me roll.
Yes, yes, we know that we can jest,
We know, we know that we can smile!
But there's a something in this breast,
To which thy light words bring no rest,
And thy gay smiles no anodyne.
Give me thy hand, and hush awhile,
And turn those limpid eyes on mine,
And let me read there, love! thy inmost soul.

Alas! is even love too weak
To unlock the heart, and let it speak?
Are even lovers powerless to reveal
To one another what indeed they feel?
I knew the mass of men concealed
Their thoughts, for fear that if revealed
They would by other men be met
With blank indifference, or with blame reproved;
I knew they lived and moved
Tricked in disguises, alien to the rest
Of men, and alien to themselves - and yet
The same heart beats in every human breast!
But we, my love! - doth a like spell benumb
Our hearts, our voices? - must we too be dumb?

Ah! well for us, if even we,
Even for a moment, can get free
Our heart, and have our lips unchained;
For that which seals them hath been deep-ordained!

Fate, which foresaw
How frivolous a baby man would be--
By what distractions he would be possessed,
How he would pour himself in every strife,
And well-nigh change his own identity--
That it might keep from his capricious play
His genuine self, and force him to obey
Even in his own despite his being's law,
Bade through the deep recesses of our breast
The unregarded river of our life
Pursue with indiscernible flow its way;
And that we should not see
The buried stream, and seem to be
Eddying at large in blind uncertainty,
Though driving on with it eternally.

But often, in the world's most crowded streets,
But often, in the din of strife,
There rises an unspeakable desire
After the knowledge of our buried life;
A thirst to spend our fire and restless force
In tracking out our true, original course;
A longing to inquire
Into the mystery of this heart which beats
So wild, so deep in us - to know
Whence our lives come and where they go.
And many a man in his own breast then delves,
But deep enough, alas! none ever mines.
And we have been on many thousand lines,
And we have shown, on each, spirit and power;
But hardly have we, for one little hour,
Been on our own line, have we been ourselves--
Hardly had skill to utter one of all
The nameless feelings that course through our breast,
But they course on for ever unexpressed.
And long we try in vain to speak and act
Our hidden self, and what we say and do
Is eloquent, is well - but 'tis not true!
And then we will no more be racked
With inward striving, and demand
Of all the thousand nothings of the hour
Their stupefying power;
Ah yes, and they benumb us at our call!
Yet still, from time to time, vague and forlorn,
From the soul's subterranean depth upborne
As from an infinitely distant land,
Come airs, and floating echoes, and convey
A melancholy into all our day.

Only - but this is rare -
When a beloved hand is laid in ours,
When, jaded with the rush and glare
Of the interminable hours,
Our eyes can in another's eyes read clear,
When our world-deafened ear
Is by the tones of a loved voice caressed--
A bolt is shot back somewhere in our breast,
And a lost pulse of feeling stirs again.
The eye sinks inward, and the heart lies plain,
And what we mean, we say, and what we would, we know.
A man becomes aware of his life's flow,
And hears its winding murmur; and he sees
The meadows where it glides, the sun, the breeze.

And there arrives a lull in the hot race
Wherein he doth for ever chase
That flying and elusive shadow, rest.
An air of coolness plays upon his face,
And an unwonted calm pervades his breast.
And then he thinks he knows
The hills where his life rose,
And the sea where it goes.

~Matthew Arnold 1852

Mes amis,
Though at the moment I do not have the time to write all I would like to write regarding the beauty and significance this poem, I do promise a brief commentary in the not too distant future. Please do not be too troubled by this temporary disappointment, I will be back soon. My thanks for your heroic patience. It does not go unnoticed.

Divorce, The Current Affair : a mini documentation

Ad omnes,
I hope you have not been waiting too long for my return. If so I am sorry. May this lengthy essay feed your hungry hearts for a little while longer. I am half way through this arduous semester and am trying to sprint the rest(with God's grace of course). Please pray I survive all that is happening to me. It's more than I ever expected...Until we meet again...Salut!

“To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.” These tokens of affection and commitment, traditionally spoken by those vowing themselves to the martial life, have tragically been abandoned by almost half of its participants as divorce rates now reach epidemic proportions in the good ‘ole U. S. of A. And from this startling eruption of divorce, spanning from sea to shining sea, grows an ever increasing interest as to why and how divorce affects itself upon so many people in our much applauded and enlightened contemporary society. Why are there so many divorces? What are the consequences of such actions upon the family? Where did this all stem from? This study seeks to investigate these questions while helping simplify the puzzling complexity regarding the issue and concludes by offering a means of lessening its appalling reality in American society.
As one sociologist put it, had the divorce rate been a matter of diet or electromagnetic fields in the atmosphere, the world would be in a “state of emergency,” (Terman) and justly so. Statistics as of 1999 show that nearly 1.1 million people per year get divorced (Fitzgerald); that’s nearly fifty-one percent or one out of two marriages (Carr). But why are there so many divorces? Research shows that the development of social and technological changes, communicative and/or compatibility factors and moral stance all play a vital role in determining the success or failure of a marriage.
The dismantling of the traditional family home first began during the civil rights movement in the 1960’s which hurled in a new concept of what “healthy societal living” was for the once domestic American woman. Dr.William Pinsof, President of the Family Institute at Northwest University, studied the development of marriage in western civilization within the last 100 years and noted that within the last forty years, there has been dramatic modifications regarding America’s standard of living, which thus has led to the loss of marital stability. Once the women’s rights movement granted opportunities for employment and financial independence, divorce rates reached astronomical proportions never before seen in American history. Women’s liberation (a.k.a. feminism) greatly changed the image long held by cultures that married women were to be wives and mothers who stayed home and cared for their families. Throwing off these traditional expectancies, women left their marriages to embrace the newly ratified “no fault” divorce law that legally sanctioned divorce regardless as to whether there existed a raison d'être or not. This new freedom from the “oppression” of husband and children gave women the freedom to become sex objects for men, as birth control and abortion soon legalized, ensuring men use women as a means for self gratification. Born from these barren unions came the inception of the destruction of the home and family in American society.
From these sociological changes came a loss of stability for the children living among such environments. In two case studies performed by two unrelated researchers, Judith Wallerstein and Lewis Terman, social and psychological development patterns were studied in order to disclose the inimical effects divorce has on those who‘ve lived through such affairs. Wallerstien found that as adults, these individuals were very anxious and distrusting in relationships, they held much anxiety regarding marriage, had deep “emotional scars,” were six times more likely to suffer poverty and had higher rates of drug / chemical abuse and school drop out. Termin’s study, which examined the life expectancies of those who either underwent divorce or suffered from parental divorce, revealed shocking proof that in over 1,500 adults the shortening of a person’s life increased 40% as opposed to those who lived in two parent households. Men’s rates for early death increased 140% after divorce and those who experienced divorce as children or young adults were more likely to also suffer marital breakup themselves. Statistics such as these expose both the physical and psychological injuries suffered by those who experience divorce thus refuting the supposition of feminists that divorce is of little consequence to those who suffer from the sting of its blade .
Though most feminists seek to bash the virtue of masculine virility and hence be the ones to wear the “stretch pants” in society, it is incontestable to agree when reviewing the effects had on individuals by this gender revolution, that males must be masculine men and females be feminine women if one hopes for the stability of the domestic frontier to return to our culture. Since time immemorial man has held the position as the head of the family, as he was the one to provide for and protect his wife and children. Feminist activist Gloria Steinem, however, states “[a] woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle” (Misner ). This is the universal consensus most liberal women have regarding men, and yet, look at the state of the family in today’s world because of such attitudes. When it comes down to it, women do need men though they may fight to admit it tooth and nail. Men possess greater reason than women and thus represent stability for women who struggle against their never ceasing storms of emotion.
This reasoned personality is not only necessary for a woman, but also for children. The male figure is so vital to a healthy functioning family that without him, families crumble and hence so does society. Leonard Misner’s article “Sexual Responsibility and Fatherlessness,” stresses the effects had on children who come from homes devoid of paternal influence. He discovered that children are so impacted by the effects of the loss of a father, that they, not knowing how to cope, turn to alternative forms of escape such as fornication, drug abuse, and even suicide to slake their thirst for love in their much parched and pained hearts. Though they seek to fill this void by running towards injurious pleasures, they only cause their pains to worsen, as they never really possess that which they want; this being a mother and a father together to love and support them. To the feminists who state the apparent social belief that divorce is not harmful to individuals or that men are not needed in the rearing of children, these facts go unnoticed.
Once one understands the reason behind divorce and the effects had by those who experience divorce, lies the question of how one can produce and maintain a healthy happy marriage. Communication, compatibility and an honest assessment of spouses are key rudiments for the success of a marriage and must be taken more seriously before commitments are made in order for happiness to ensue. Psychologists Lisa Neff and Benjamin Karney’s case study “To know you is to love you,” researched eighty-two couples who had been recently married and investigated the success rate by which they could honestly judge their opposing spouse. They discovered that couples who had a more honest perception of their spouse’s strengths and weaknesses had a much higher success rate as opposed to those where one spouse held an unrealistic a view of the other. The happiest couples were those who knew that their spouse “understood” them for who they truly were, rather than have their spouse hold an illusory impression of them which they knew was untrue. The fact that the two communicated well with one another also weighed heavily in generating greater satisfaction between the two partners. These relationships allowed for the spouses to show support where it was needed and not ignore the realities that the one they loved was “not perfect.” Stability between their love and affection in times of trial were also notably stronger than those who denied the overall truth of who their spouse actually was. Those couples who could not acknowledge or perceive specific negative character traits, such as not being tidy or being on time, had a higher rate of enduring long term tensions and needing eventual separation. Their study, therefore, concluded that specific perceptions of a spouse, including both positive and negative attributes, along with positive “global” perceptions, such as a spouse being loving, created the greatest probability for a happy marriage, since it provided partners with a true and honest admittance of whom it was they were marrying and how it was they need to be supported. This information implies that it is necessity for couples to be honest about their spouses and to better see them for who they are, for in cases of denial or ignorance, marital success fairs weak.
One might gather then that communication is primary in fostering satisfaction between spouses; yet, interrelated with this requisite is that of compatibility. Some argue compatibility to be the sole element necessary for the personal fulfillment between couples, however, though this belief holds some truth, it must be noted that not all compatibility qualifies in maintaining the union of two persons in a marriage. The “types” of compatibility are of utmost importance when considering this concept. Call Vaughn, the associate professor in the Center for Studies of the Family at Brigham Young University, researched what particular types of compatibility factors are most pertinent in deciding the success of a marriage. Vaughn’s study consisted of a survey of 13,008 married people who had to answer questions regarding “personal attitudes and behaviors.” With people from all races, status’ and religious preferences responding to the survey, the sample was unbiased and proved very interesting results. He asked questions pertaining to sexual practice and belief, marital commitment, and religious attendance. Much to the chagrin of the general consensus, his study proved that those who defended “orthodox” religious beliefs such as Christians, most especially Catholics, had the lowest rate for marital breakup when both spouses attended church weekly. By orthodox belief it is meant that the spouses agree in matters of sexual fidelity, non-marital sex, traditional gender roles, and regular religious practice. Regular church attendance and religious practice between both partners led to the strongest and happiest marriages. Ironically , those of mixed religious affiliation had the highest risk of marital dissolution and had the least amount of marital satisfaction. Yet this is not surprising.
Orthodox religious practices are almost always part and parcel with marital stability. Religion touches the very heart of what one treasures as truth. Marrying someone of a different belief is like a fish taking a bird for a swim or a bird taking a fish for a flight. The creatures are on two totally separate plains of living that it is literally impossible for them to meet halfway without suffering deleterious consequences. Because religion is the structure by which a person chooses to live and act, it must be taken into account if one wants to marry for life. Fish mate with fish and birds mate with birds. So too should it be for people of religious belief. The opinions one has regarding the rearing of children or sexual behaviors or friendship networks are so significant in a person’s martial relationship, that if there are many disagreements confronting these positions, the mental union between spouses grows frustrated and ultimately bitter which increases the probability for divorce. Because religion tends to mold the opinions of persons regarding these issues, it is crucial that one marries one who believes similarly in order to engender a beautiful union of persons both physically and spiritually.
In conjunction with religious belief is that of progeny. Chengze Fan of the department of economics in Lingnan University, investigated the relationship between divorce and endogenous fertility. He found that the rapid decline in birth rates in the average American household has led to a significant alteration in the household structure. With couples using contraception and abortion to reduce the number of children they otherwise would have bore, the home has become weak. Interestingly, Chengze found that couples who anticipate higher probabilities of divorce have fewer children; in contrast, those couples who have more children are less likely to get divorced. The old expression “cheaper by the dozen” carries some grounds as the case may be. It is also to be noted that when wealth in a society is high, the increase of divorce follows suit. Ironically, when an economy is underdeveloped, the probability of divorce is nearly zero and fertility rates simultaneously increase significantly, proving that money does not secure true happiness nor marital longevity. Could America possibly benefit from such a “loss?”
Today many young people have become reluctant to embrace the lifestyle of marital commitment because of their experiences with divorce and the heartache associated with it. Currently statistics show that 2.4 million marriages occur per year with 1.2 million divorces occurring within the same period of time. Is there any wonder the young are disinclined to marry when the odds for getting divorced stand in their favor? What then is the answer one might ask.
“Covenant marriage” programs have recently been established to lessen divorce rates by encouraging people’s return to traditional family values. Covenant marriage programs help educate adults preparing for marriage and encourage those adults, already married, to renew the vows they formally took (Holman). The program also requires that couples get counseling before they can divorce so to deter couples from acting rashly. Though these programs have not been popular except in mostly conservative Protestant communities, the slow manifestation of its existence is hopeful for the future. Government has also taken measures to deter couples from divorcing. President Bush has a new “Bush marriage strategy,” an effort to encourage single people to marry and keep married couples together. The “theory […] includes pro-marriage media blitzes featuring billboards, posters, calendars and pamphlets as well as premarital classes for high school students, singles and unmarried couples, [in] explaining the benefits of marriage” (Lerner). With the help of those who posses the power of authority, future marriages hold a glimpse of hope. Ultimately, the “no fault” divorce law, which was the beginning of the end for marriage, must be dismembered if there is to be a resurgence of faithful marriages again. Couples must not have the luxury of obtaining divorces so easily as studies prove that the repercussion had on themselves and on those around them cause more harm than good.
“To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.” When these sentiments are again relived and total unselfish commitment to one’s spouse is defended and self-forgetfulness and self-denial for the sake of one loved becomes the priority, then will couples not need to justify divorce because then they will truly know and possess real love. They will come to realize that love is found in another’s happiness, not one’s own. This is the standard that must be defended and this is the love that will endure until “death do us part.”
So let it be written, so let it done.

N.B. Should you desire any of my references please contact me.

Je suis en retard!

To my many adoring readers,
I am so sorry I have not posted these past couple of weeks. Life has been interesting, as some of you may know, and thus my having the liberty to write has been lessened significantly (which I do not regret :) However, to those of you who have been waiting for me to return and tell of my many exciting adventures, do accept my apologies, but know that my writing will be fewer and far between as school has resumed and I am once again immersed in the world of academia with all its glorious demands. How blessed I am to be exposed to the world of contemporary humanities. Truly there is nothing like good ole fashioned liberalism to make education stimulating. But, Laus Domino! soon my attendance at Roman U. will cease to be a reality and I will find myself scouring the halls of a yet another university- perhaps in Ohio, we shall wait and see...time has much to tell me still. Thus in so many words I wish to convey the fact that until I find ten or twenty moments to stop and compose a lengthy, well reflected post, I do not see myself writing here frequently, for I must confess, my thoughts have found newer and lovelier grounds to tread. So until I come again, do keep yourselves well by enjoying this early spring. God had been so good to us all. Our heating bills will be much less than last month. Would you believe our crocus' are already showing their shoots?! It's so wonderful...
Au revoir!
(All information is subject to change)

Love's Complaint

I have pain in my heart which often torments me:
Love wounded me
so cruelly with his arrow
that I cannot live much longer
if I do not have relief
from this suffering.
So have pity on me
lovely Lady!
may I have joy from you,
for I love you with a loyal heart.


I will never repent of loving
on account of the suffering which I have to endure.
Oh, Lady with the bright countenance,
it pleases me so much to gaze at your beauty
that all of my thoughts are centered on you,
and I will never want to take my heart away.
I beg that you deign to remember me,
for you I cannot forget.

He who complains of love
has never truly loved,
for no one who loves well
has ever grumbled against love.
Loyal lovers never feign love,
nor do they ever complain
day or night of love's sweet pains,
no matter how much they suffer.
For he who has good heart
will find such a great sweetness in love
that he will never feel the pain.
Thus will my heart never,
in spite of what anyone may say,
abandon the one who possesses me entirely.
It is ever there,
in truth, never will it leave,
for when it has discovered love's pain,
it will find the benefits very sweet:
how very sweet they are!

"Love's Illusion" Montpellier Codex 13th C.

To the Shy Ones

How do we shy survive
In a world full of the brave?
We fear and feign reveal
our depth of heart and soul.

Sad things we are to see;
Our hearts cry loud to show
That we are not alone
Indeed, we're not alone.

Belong, that's what we seek
But to whom must be discerned.
Not all are true to love
Or even true to me.

We watch and wait for God
To hear our hearts ourcry
And enter through His Heart
To where shyness shall be brave.

To all the shy little ones, I dedicate this to you. Don't be ashamed of this noble gift; it's worth more than you know.

Sweetly You

Sweetly you dream in worlds far away,
Sweetly you rest in arms that do sway,
Sweetly you hear this song that I sing,
Sweetly you trust this love which I bring.

Sweetly you smile as I kiss your fair head,
Sweetly you lay as I put you to bed.
Sweetly you call as you cry in the dark,
Sweetly you hope I shall not depart.

Sweetly you hold my finger so tight,
Sweetly you breath in the still of the night.
Sweetly you glow in the still of the morn
Sweetly you rise as the new day is born.

Sweetly you force my thoughts turn to you,
Sweetly you make my soul live anew,
Sweetly you now and forever she be,
Sweetly you,Godchild ,my dearest Hayley.

Tutti Mi'Amore.

Family- The World's Greatest Necessity.

This past weekend, as previously noted, I spent my time in Virginia and while I was there I met with a Catholic homeschooling family whom I'd known from years past. This family was the paradigm of an authentic Catholic family. The father was a true father; he was the head of his household and his children respected and obeyed him. He led the schedule of events and knew how to tell a good story. The wife was the sweet epitome of a married Martha. She graciously welcomed me into her home, carefully prepared a delicious breakfast and had all the children wait to be served so I could have the first choice of helpings. I felt so honored to be among her presence and I might also mention she refuses to wear pants. Their jolly eight children (yes, I said eight) were so pleasant. They played games with me, they hugged me as if I were one of their own, why, they even wanted me to spend the night and tell them a bedtime stories which I actually ended up doing. What a joy it was for me to be with this family! How few and far between it is to find such an ordered home in this tragically divorced world. But how can a family like this exist when all we see or hear about is family adultery, fighting, abuse, hatred, etc. If your asking yourself what it was about this family that made them so good I can tell you in one easy word- Faith. This family stands strong by the fact that the parents' one and only desire both for themselves and for their children is to do the will of God and thus to get to Heaven. This family upholds the Faith and Traditions laid down by Christ in His Holy Catholic Church so despised by our self-aggrandized, enlightened world. Yet this "enlightened" world which claims it has the answer to everything can't give an answer as to how to correct the rise of divorce, depression, drugs abuse or crime. But I can tell you that it all stems from the fact that they (those hidden powers that control the media) have corrupted the minds of people by having them believe that a family is whatever you want it to be, that there is no moral law, that hedonism is the only true religion and last but not least that anything your child does is acceptable. So don't you dare think about touching your screaming child because don't you know that's abuse and they'll never forget the pain they experienced in your hitting them for behaving like an animal just because they couldn't have another piece of cake after they have just eaten one. Because let's not forget that they will never be happy so long as you tell them what to do. After thousands of years mankind finally learned that it's "child knows best" because after all, they know everything don't they? It drives me to insanity the way people think a family should be run. There is so much reform to be done it's frightening.
Anyhow, seeing this family last weekend reminded me of the great dignity and honor found in a family which is ordered according to God's will. The reason why this family was so beautiful was because they reflected what Christ desires of all holy families- true loving obedience to God, first, from the parents and second, from the children through the parents. Children should see the example of holy Christian living from their parents because if they don't see it there they'll never practice it save by a miracle of grace. Children are so close to being what their parents are which is why it is imperative that they (the parents) be good in order that their children be good. I abhor this double standard parents take with their children. Children are not stupid, they watch and they imitate. They know what you believe by the way you behave not by what you speak.
This refreshing image of holy living was what made my visit so memorable. The children saw good from evil, truth from error, white from black, female from male (no this is not saying men are evil), but again, they could see this only because the parents were doing what all families are ordained to do; training their children in the faith and forming them into moral and God-fearing people.
Working together the father and mother created a little "church" in their home where Christ could grow and be known to their children. It is no wonder to me that there was such joy in this home. How can there be anything but when Christ is so present among them? From this reality of the presence of Christ, the children will learn to live good and holy lives and eventually spread Christ's love to wherever in life they go. And in the end, this is what every family should want to procure- a society (or family) which seeks to know, love, serve and obey God. How blessed our world would be if only people desired to achieve this.
A few last notes. This past Sunday was the feast of the Holy Family. To those who are not Catholic, the Holy Family consists of St. Joseph, the Blessed Mother and the child Jesus. The Holy Family was the family God gave not only to His Son, but to everyone who is in need of a family. Thus, the Holy Family is not limited to the three person's of Jesus, Mary and St. Joseph; we are all called to become members of this family through the spiritual union of our hearts and minds with theirs. We all can become a son or daughter to them if we seek to. They welcome us with open arms. It is important to remember that a family is not limited by blood. There are spiritual families more real by the fact that God unites them, God brings them together. What did Christ say... "He who does the will of My Father is mother brother, sister to me." Do these words not involve family relationships? Of course they do, so we must believe that this family too can be ours if we strive to do the will of God.
Lastly, because the family I visited last week was an exception (though it shouldn't be), I understand that it is not easy for everyone to relate to it. Tragically most people have never seen anything of the sort, yet nevertheless, it is something we should all want to aspire towards if we feel called to the marriage vocation. We must not feel we have no hope to achieve this goal because the Holy Family will help us if we ask them to. They know the times in which we live; they are not indifferent to our needs and our tears. They will help us transform ourselves into the people, the family and thus the nation and world God wishes we become if we let them. In vain will we hope for a better world unless we seek the graces from Heaven through the intercession of the Holy Family. Let them work with us and for us in cleaning up the mess we've made in corrupting the family for indeed they will, in fact they want to. Lets invite them back into our world to flush the misery and sin we've bathed our souls in. Come Holy Family! Restore to us the "domestic church" so now in want. Bring back the family, now rightly called the world's greatest necessity.
(Thank you Stein's for the inspiration you have been to me.)