I have been researching for almost a straight 10 hours (I'm not exaggerating) and I need a glass of wine. Wine is so nice when you're mentally frazzled. It helps warm the soul, calm the nerves and make serious women like me find the giddiness of life. My choices are Merlot and Chianti (I really prefer the latter) It's funny how certain tastes can trigger thoughts in a person. Carlo Rossi's Chianti for example, takes me back to the days when I was little girl. How lovely it was! Grandpa's Sunday macaroni with garlic bread, fresh escarole with Jersey tomatoes along with my little recycled jelly glass cup holding about a quarter inch of red wine. This, I was told, was to help make my blood healthy and my mind silly. Honestly though, I see nothing wrong in giving children alcohol, so long as it's monitored. If anything it will make them sleep and what's wrong with that?
Just now Our Lady's October moon is gently rising over my neighbors rooftop and I can hear little voices outside my window playing out in the street, reveling in the outside air before their parents tell them it's time to come in. What sweet little children they are. I wish I could be out there with them. I remember being little and playing outside with the neighborhood kids. The whole gang would come out and we'd play ultimate man hunt which meant you could hide anywhere in the development and you'd never get caught unless you really sought to be. Later in life I learned to play flashlight tag. Awesome game! So much fun. I'd get dressed all in black (once my favorite color) and wait for the earth to darken and then gather outside with my little friends to experience some of the most exhilarating thrills of my life, at least up till that point in time. Oh the intensity, the excitement. How I miss those days. It's wonderful remembering those days when I was still unaware of the nature of evil, didn't know mortal sin, was free of all worries and knew that mom was there to hold me close whenever I was scared or needed a hug. I slept in the arms of innocence and peacefully waited for the dawn of each new day.
For tonight I'd like to discuss the topic of (if you couldn't already guess) childhood. Childhood has to be one of the most unappreciated gifts... especially among those too young to know anything but. They do not know (and rightly so) what it is they do not bear. Yet once they grow up and drink from the cup of suffering, they begin to recognize what a treasure childhood is. Growing up reminds me of what its like when someone in your life dies or leaves you and you realize how much you love them, because you never thought what life would be like without having them in it. This same effect occurs in people who grow up and taste the pains of life. It amazes me how so many people in their older years say "when I was a boy (girl)", "I remember when my mom (dad)"etc. People always refer to their childhoods to recall those times in their life when they were most happy. But what is it about childhood that makes our hearts reflect? To me the answer to this question is obvious. Innocence is bliss!
But who is to say when childhood must end? I've never read a book where it's concretely defined. But I propose that there is a very good reason why there isn't a set age to conclude the years of childhood.
Childhood should not have an age set to it; I believe childhood does not limit itself by age. For example, a girl in her teenage years can very well be living in childhood. Let me illustrate this for you. I've been privileged to know a young girl, sixteen years old, who, at her age mind you, did not yet know about prostitution, condoms or French kissing. What she did know however, was how to play with her beanie dolls, tell funny tales to her little siblings, write stories about kittens and draw pictures of little girls in hats on dreamy prairies. She is sixteen, she is innocent and she still lives in childhood. She is content in her world of childhood and lives joyfully as she prepares herself through this state to one day blossom into that beautiful woman she will one day be.
I will take this point a step further and say that even an adult can live in a state of childhood. No, I'm not crazy, just listen. This past summer I went on a weekend retreat to a remote haven in the hills of northern Pennsylvania called the Priory of Our Lady of Ephesus. It was a truly wonderful visit and I recommend everyone get there if you can. Anyway, the order of nuns who run the convent are known as the Oblates of Mary. Well, while there I noticed this same spirit of innocence and simplicity among the sisters. Granted they are nuns, but today this means very little. These women radiated a joy that I've never witnessed in anyone. They made my heart burn with a desire to want to be like them. But what was it they had that I wanted? This spirit of a childhood. Now I know that not all people can live secluded from the world like monks and nuns, but have there not been men and women in history who have succeeded in preserving this childhood within them even though they did not live such lives? Indeed there were. We call these people the secular saints. Some examples would be Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, St. Cecilia, St.Elizabeth of Hungary. God does not call everyone to live as a priest or religious but He does call everyone to be perfect and in order to be perfect Christ exhorts we be like little children.
But let's clarify our definition. Being like a child does not mean being foolish, immature, naive or even young. What it means is that one has the desire to be a child of God by trusting oneself completely to His care. No I don't think God expects us to behave foolishly, rather I believe wants us to have that abandonment of heart like that of a child and to not rely on ourselves but on Him.
This spirit is within all of us, even men. Men are certainly not exempt from wanting this. I've seen it shine through them on a natural level. It's so cute too. For example, when I see a man around a doting mother (not even necessarily his own)he exposes a little bit of this spirit hiding within him. He lets himself be interrogated about his eating habits, eats when he doesn't want to, listens to her advice, and always he welcomes the hug. He is like a little boy hiding in big men's clothing. As much as men may appear to not enjoy it, I think they do. I think they like having that woman to be their mother and take care of their needs; they want to be nutured and loved. This attitude may even be the reason why men crave marriage so much. It is their desire to be taken care of and to entrust themselves to another that they are so attracted to the feminine sex, who's primary function is to fulfill these needs. She is a figure on the natural level what God is on the supernatural. She feeds his soul that love which God has for Him in His nuturing sense. It's really cool when you think of it like that isn't it? So yes this spirit is in all of us, we just have to look hard enough to know it's there.
It's getting rather late and my back is starting to hurt so I want to put this tired puppy to bed. To quickly recap, I just want to say that we should all seek this childhood in whatever vocation we've been called to fulfill. We should all nurture this craving for the spirit of childhood since that's what I believe God wants of us. "Suffer not the little children to come to Me." That includes us! Lets not make ourselves the obstacle which prevents our true "inner child" from attaining it's longed for end, our Abba. Adesso, Finito. Allora, Ciao!
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