Viva Amore

Having just returned from Roma I have so much to tell. I went to Rome for my sister's wedding at the Vatican and can only say that I felt like it was all a dream. It was so beautiful, so surreal that it could have been an illusion. Can you imagine being married at St. Peter's Basilica and, with that, at the tomb of St. John Chrysostom? Amazing doesn't due justice in describing the incredibility of the moment. Although my sister did not know who this man was, it nevertheless touched my soul knowing that she was exchanging her vows of love before all of Heaven but particularly before the tomb of this awesome Saint. How symbolic it was. The union of two people in the sacrament of marriage literally standing parallel with the tomb of a man who achieved the great spiritual union with Christ through the means of personal sanctity. Two unions, both holy, one symbolic of the other. Doesn't it take your heart away?
Hearing my sister and her husband share the intimacy of their love as they exchanged their vows was verily inspiring. I was moved to tears as I watched and listened as they promised one another their fidelity and love. It was a moment of indescribable emotion. If only I had the gift of expression I could say what it was it did to me, but alas I suffer not to possess this gift and so only my frustration and vain attempt to express it will suffice to convey its impact upon me. Forgive my intellectual incompetence. It suffices I say that it was something I will never forget.
It has been many a year since I last attended a wedding but I was happy to witness this sacred moment since at this wedding the realization of what marriage is hit me harder than a ton of bricks. Don't ask me why but it did. The sacrificing of one's love and life for another with the promise of abandoning all things for the sake of that love and to satisfy the will of God. How incredible, how divine! To my bitter regret so few couples understand, or worst, even want to understand the beauty of the sacrament of marriage. Despite what public opinion says, marriage is not simply a one day celebration full of pretty dresses, lots of wine and good friends. It is a lifetime commitment which people should take much more seriously. The theology involved in a marriage is as involved as any of the other sacred mysteries of Christ yet why don't we give it the same respect and reverence as we do these others? Well, maybe we don't give the other sacraments their due respect and therein lies our problem. The great mystery of marriage lies is in the fact that it is one of the means God created to sanctify humanity and to procreate mankind, which He can only enact by the free will offering of man and woman in the marital embrace. It is a holy and happy means to salvation but only if it is worked at by prayer and self-denial. But this subject could take me another hour to write about so I'll now return to my sister...
My sister's wedding was indeed laced with many special graces but it also carried with that it a spirit of melancholy which most of us know and appreciate if we've suffered the loss of someone close to us. Though I am not one for getting too personal on a blog seeing that I know not who reads this, I will admit that I have suffered the loss of those dear to my heart, but now again, I will suffer the loss of my sister for she will live her marital life on that lush emerald isle which we know as Ireland. But as the Italians say "c'e vivo". I've lived through these losses so may times that one would think I'd start to accept it, but I don't. Yet I pray by the grace of God that this sadness will convert into a hope that will lead me onward towards a world where goodbyes do not exist and where people will never have to be without those whom they love.
I hate saying goodbye. I think it is the most deplorable expression in existence outside of saying "I hate you." To separate or to no longer see someone you love is so unnatural to us. I think this is why parting with our loved ones hurts us at the very core of our being. Yes, we have the modern convenience of telephoning, but the mimicking of a voice is not the same as seeing or touching someone you love. Simulation does not cut it when you want to be with a dear friend or loved one. Imagine a bride being given a lifesize photograph of her bridegroom on the night of her wedding with a cell phone to hear his voice for whenever she gets lonely or has the desire to tell him how deeply she loves him and how she wants nothing but to serve him for the rest of her years. If this woman were my sister, she would have all of Italy out in the streets in search of how to get her husband back to her in the flesh. Mama Mia, there would be quite a ruckus and rightly so! Our nature demands we have the real thing, but when that is taken away how sharp and how severe that pain reaches into the bowels of our soul. We want to have that person, we want to see them move, hear them breathe, look them in the eye; neither pictures nor telephones satisfy this need in us. Come to think of it though, it is because of this separation that people can love all the more and appreciate who it is they love. So what's better? I leave that for you to decide.
From this trip I have come to see how beautiful a thing marriage is and how blessed people are if they find that one person to share their life with. I am so grateful to God that my sister found that man whom she's always dreamed of having and please pray for their happy end. But there is another kind of love which I feel is worth mentioning; this love is not a love of matrimony, however its flame is just as real, perhaps even more so. This love is a love of sacrifice for it suffers in not possessing the one whom it loves. It must learn to love another without loving them. It suffers the negation of the one it loves for the good of the other but loves them nevertheless with the hope of one day seeing that love made manifest in the world of eternity. This love is hard and it is sad but it is truly beautiful. Though many experience the joys of marital love, I believe there are more people than are thought true, who can say they understand the latter love. While God blesses some with marriage He has blessed others by going without it. Indeed, both loves are hard and both are good but both are not always seen for the gift they are. So to those who are married, be grateful for it and never lose sight of the treasure you have been given. Never forget that moment when you promised your spouse you would be true to them until death did you part. Love them with all your heart and give them all that you are, for you'll never know how precious love is until you know what it is to go without it. Don't be the one to discover this truth once its all too late. Viva amore!