Je suis en retard!

To my many adoring readers,
I am so sorry I have not posted these past couple of weeks. Life has been interesting, as some of you may know, and thus my having the liberty to write has been lessened significantly (which I do not regret :) However, to those of you who have been waiting for me to return and tell of my many exciting adventures, do accept my apologies, but know that my writing will be fewer and far between as school has resumed and I am once again immersed in the world of academia with all its glorious demands. How blessed I am to be exposed to the world of contemporary humanities. Truly there is nothing like good ole fashioned liberalism to make education stimulating. But, Laus Domino! soon my attendance at Roman U. will cease to be a reality and I will find myself scouring the halls of a yet another university- perhaps in Ohio, we shall wait and see...time has much to tell me still. Thus in so many words I wish to convey the fact that until I find ten or twenty moments to stop and compose a lengthy, well reflected post, I do not see myself writing here frequently, for I must confess, my thoughts have found newer and lovelier grounds to tread. So until I come again, do keep yourselves well by enjoying this early spring. God had been so good to us all. Our heating bills will be much less than last month. Would you believe our crocus' are already showing their shoots?! It's so wonderful...
Au revoir!
(All information is subject to change)

Love's Complaint

I have pain in my heart which often torments me:
Love wounded me
so cruelly with his arrow
that I cannot live much longer
if I do not have relief
from this suffering.
So have pity on me
lovely Lady!
may I have joy from you,
for I love you with a loyal heart.


I will never repent of loving
on account of the suffering which I have to endure.
Oh, Lady with the bright countenance,
it pleases me so much to gaze at your beauty
that all of my thoughts are centered on you,
and I will never want to take my heart away.
I beg that you deign to remember me,
for you I cannot forget.

He who complains of love
has never truly loved,
for no one who loves well
has ever grumbled against love.
Loyal lovers never feign love,
nor do they ever complain
day or night of love's sweet pains,
no matter how much they suffer.
For he who has good heart
will find such a great sweetness in love
that he will never feel the pain.
Thus will my heart never,
in spite of what anyone may say,
abandon the one who possesses me entirely.
It is ever there,
in truth, never will it leave,
for when it has discovered love's pain,
it will find the benefits very sweet:
how very sweet they are!

"Love's Illusion" Montpellier Codex 13th C.

To the Shy Ones

How do we shy survive
In a world full of the brave?
We fear and feign reveal
our depth of heart and soul.

Sad things we are to see;
Our hearts cry loud to show
That we are not alone
Indeed, we're not alone.

Belong, that's what we seek
But to whom must be discerned.
Not all are true to love
Or even true to me.

We watch and wait for God
To hear our hearts ourcry
And enter through His Heart
To where shyness shall be brave.

To all the shy little ones, I dedicate this to you. Don't be ashamed of this noble gift; it's worth more than you know.

Sweetly You

Sweetly you dream in worlds far away,
Sweetly you rest in arms that do sway,
Sweetly you hear this song that I sing,
Sweetly you trust this love which I bring.

Sweetly you smile as I kiss your fair head,
Sweetly you lay as I put you to bed.
Sweetly you call as you cry in the dark,
Sweetly you hope I shall not depart.

Sweetly you hold my finger so tight,
Sweetly you breath in the still of the night.
Sweetly you glow in the still of the morn
Sweetly you rise as the new day is born.

Sweetly you force my thoughts turn to you,
Sweetly you make my soul live anew,
Sweetly you now and forever she be,
Sweetly you,Godchild ,my dearest Hayley.

Tutti Mi'Amore.

Family- The World's Greatest Necessity.

This past weekend, as previously noted, I spent my time in Virginia and while I was there I met with a Catholic homeschooling family whom I'd known from years past. This family was the paradigm of an authentic Catholic family. The father was a true father; he was the head of his household and his children respected and obeyed him. He led the schedule of events and knew how to tell a good story. The wife was the sweet epitome of a married Martha. She graciously welcomed me into her home, carefully prepared a delicious breakfast and had all the children wait to be served so I could have the first choice of helpings. I felt so honored to be among her presence and I might also mention she refuses to wear pants. Their jolly eight children (yes, I said eight) were so pleasant. They played games with me, they hugged me as if I were one of their own, why, they even wanted me to spend the night and tell them a bedtime stories which I actually ended up doing. What a joy it was for me to be with this family! How few and far between it is to find such an ordered home in this tragically divorced world. But how can a family like this exist when all we see or hear about is family adultery, fighting, abuse, hatred, etc. If your asking yourself what it was about this family that made them so good I can tell you in one easy word- Faith. This family stands strong by the fact that the parents' one and only desire both for themselves and for their children is to do the will of God and thus to get to Heaven. This family upholds the Faith and Traditions laid down by Christ in His Holy Catholic Church so despised by our self-aggrandized, enlightened world. Yet this "enlightened" world which claims it has the answer to everything can't give an answer as to how to correct the rise of divorce, depression, drugs abuse or crime. But I can tell you that it all stems from the fact that they (those hidden powers that control the media) have corrupted the minds of people by having them believe that a family is whatever you want it to be, that there is no moral law, that hedonism is the only true religion and last but not least that anything your child does is acceptable. So don't you dare think about touching your screaming child because don't you know that's abuse and they'll never forget the pain they experienced in your hitting them for behaving like an animal just because they couldn't have another piece of cake after they have just eaten one. Because let's not forget that they will never be happy so long as you tell them what to do. After thousands of years mankind finally learned that it's "child knows best" because after all, they know everything don't they? It drives me to insanity the way people think a family should be run. There is so much reform to be done it's frightening.
Anyhow, seeing this family last weekend reminded me of the great dignity and honor found in a family which is ordered according to God's will. The reason why this family was so beautiful was because they reflected what Christ desires of all holy families- true loving obedience to God, first, from the parents and second, from the children through the parents. Children should see the example of holy Christian living from their parents because if they don't see it there they'll never practice it save by a miracle of grace. Children are so close to being what their parents are which is why it is imperative that they (the parents) be good in order that their children be good. I abhor this double standard parents take with their children. Children are not stupid, they watch and they imitate. They know what you believe by the way you behave not by what you speak.
This refreshing image of holy living was what made my visit so memorable. The children saw good from evil, truth from error, white from black, female from male (no this is not saying men are evil), but again, they could see this only because the parents were doing what all families are ordained to do; training their children in the faith and forming them into moral and God-fearing people.
Working together the father and mother created a little "church" in their home where Christ could grow and be known to their children. It is no wonder to me that there was such joy in this home. How can there be anything but when Christ is so present among them? From this reality of the presence of Christ, the children will learn to live good and holy lives and eventually spread Christ's love to wherever in life they go. And in the end, this is what every family should want to procure- a society (or family) which seeks to know, love, serve and obey God. How blessed our world would be if only people desired to achieve this.
A few last notes. This past Sunday was the feast of the Holy Family. To those who are not Catholic, the Holy Family consists of St. Joseph, the Blessed Mother and the child Jesus. The Holy Family was the family God gave not only to His Son, but to everyone who is in need of a family. Thus, the Holy Family is not limited to the three person's of Jesus, Mary and St. Joseph; we are all called to become members of this family through the spiritual union of our hearts and minds with theirs. We all can become a son or daughter to them if we seek to. They welcome us with open arms. It is important to remember that a family is not limited by blood. There are spiritual families more real by the fact that God unites them, God brings them together. What did Christ say... "He who does the will of My Father is mother brother, sister to me." Do these words not involve family relationships? Of course they do, so we must believe that this family too can be ours if we strive to do the will of God.
Lastly, because the family I visited last week was an exception (though it shouldn't be), I understand that it is not easy for everyone to relate to it. Tragically most people have never seen anything of the sort, yet nevertheless, it is something we should all want to aspire towards if we feel called to the marriage vocation. We must not feel we have no hope to achieve this goal because the Holy Family will help us if we ask them to. They know the times in which we live; they are not indifferent to our needs and our tears. They will help us transform ourselves into the people, the family and thus the nation and world God wishes we become if we let them. In vain will we hope for a better world unless we seek the graces from Heaven through the intercession of the Holy Family. Let them work with us and for us in cleaning up the mess we've made in corrupting the family for indeed they will, in fact they want to. Lets invite them back into our world to flush the misery and sin we've bathed our souls in. Come Holy Family! Restore to us the "domestic church" so now in want. Bring back the family, now rightly called the world's greatest necessity.
(Thank you Stein's for the inspiration you have been to me.)

New Year's Reflections in Virginia

Good evening y'all. I write you this post from my old home town of Fairfax,Virginia and my goodness, how the memories are flooding into my mind. And as they do I hear my favorite radio station (Classical 103.5) playing one of my favorite pieces by Beethoven, his 7th symphony. I can't believe it! You know, it is the little stuff that touches my heart so dearly. It's so moving to hear the flutes play daintily with the brass trumpets and violins. It's most haunting!! Don't call me crazy but I think God speaks to me through music. Music reaches something in my soul like nothing else does except maybe one thing which I will go unnamed. Oh, how I hear Him tonight. My heart is melting with emotion and I wish I had someone here to share this with. But since I have no one, I thought I'd invite the cyber world to enjoy it with me. So thanks to those of you who are here reading my insignificant thoughts. I know this means nothing to you but it means so much to me knowing that I am semi-sharing what is happening inside of me with you. You may be asking yourself "Is this life so lonely for some that they must resort to an electrical journal for comfort?" Yes, but that's okay. I'd rather that than go crazy by having this feeling built up in me and cause me such frustration that I have to scream. I like to scream- not too loud, just high pitched. It's so much fun. Try it especially if you like to sing. It's a great way to open up your vocal cords. I'm serious by the way. I do this before I sing for anything. It's a professional singer's secret. Moving on though, I have had a most unusual day. For one thing, I spent my afternoon having lunch with my old boyfriend from high school and afterwards traveling down roads I have not navigated in almost six years. My favorite road, Route 66 (well, not really but it's an easy road to drive on and I know it like the back of my hand) was one I found myself on today. I love driving on it as the sun sets behind the majestic mountains called the Blue Ridge. They are so regal, so blue(my favorite color). They are what I call Our Lady's mountains. Once did I drive through them. It was a drive I'll never forget. I love to drive alone around here. When I was in high school I would drive down roads and just drive without stopping not knowing where I was or to where I was going. Those were moments of great contemplation. Now I drive to nowhere and to nowhere fast being that I live in the worst part of NJ, yet this, I'm hoping, is to soon to change. I miss and love the country. It has everything a melancholic girl like myself could want. There is so much to think about, so much to see, so much move the heart and inspire one to dream. I pray God puts me somewhere out in the hills or mountains. They make it so easy to pray.
Before I wrap up this rather informal post I do wish to say a few last things. Yes, I miss VA, I miss the mountains,I miss people I no longer see, however I cannot allow myself to get too attached to any person, place or thing which I meet with upon my brief stay on this planet- none of us can. This world is passing and is one which we must be in yet not of. Nothing should divert our hearts or minds away from getting to that one place we should so long to go to, Heaven. I spoke to a priest in confession today about my life and he gave me some excellent advice. He said if you want to get to Heaven quickly, do well whatever it is God wants of you, and suffer it with love and in a short while He will take you home. He warned me that it is to those people who begrudgingly do whatever it is He asks of them who stay longer. So tonight as I conclude a truly memorable 2005, I have decided upon my new year's resolution... it is to do everything God wishes I do and suffer anything that hurts my heart or breaks my will so that He will soon take me to Himself and allow me to love Him forever in eternity. I pray this happens to me and I pray it happen soon. No I'm not in despair, I simply long for eternity. So Lord, make me ready and make me ready as quickly as possible for I want so much to be with you and to be in a place where I will never have to say goodbye again. (Wouldn't that be nice?)
A blessed new year to y'all. Please say a prayer for me that I get home safe. God keep you safe and close to His Heart Sacred Heart. Buone Anne!

Hope on the Homefront

The above mentioned blog had this interesting news to tell.

"Friday, December 30, 2005
Benedict prepares the Holy Revolution
The Italian newsweekly Panorama has a very interesting prognosis of the major events of 2006 in the Roman Curia in its last edition (with the same title as the one chosen for this post).

The main points of the article:

FIRST, after eight months, Pope Benedict has filled only two positions with his men: CDF Prefect, vacated for obvious reasons; and the Secretary for Divine Worship, who was picked because he was needed to "continue the dialogue with the traditionalist Catholics" (Panorama's words).

SECOND, and this has been well known for a few months, the Holy Father has chosen Angelo Comastri (currently Vicar of the Pope for the Vatican City) as his head-planner for a major restructuring of the Curia.

THIRD, Comastri would replace Cardinal Castrillón Hoyos as Prefect of Clergy.

FOURTH, freed from his duties at Clergy, Cardinal Castrillón Hoyos (who is past his age limit) would remain solely in charge of Ecclesia Dei issues (that is, relations with all traditional Catholics).

FIFTH, Abp. Piero Marini would be called to replace Abp. Comastri in his current positions, freeing the office of pontifical liturgies.

SIXTH, Marini would be replaced by his second, Francesco Camaldo, who is allegedly a favorite of the Pope.

SEVENTH, Cardinal Sepe would be trasferred from Propaganda (Evangelization) to Cardinal Szoka's current position as President of the Governatorate of the Holy See.

EIGHTH, Cardinal Dias (Bombay, India) would replace Cardinal Sepe as prefect of Propaganda.

In other changes, the Prefect of Apostolic Signatura would be transferred to Naples (as archbishop).

The article ends by reminding the readers that NOBODY is currently in a position that may influence the Pope's decision. Every one of the decisions will be solely his (differently, I might add, from what happened throughout the Wojtyla pontificate, as is public knowledge)."

Let's keep praying this Pope keeps things going in the right direction.
Viva la Papa!